Strange S.O.

[joeb1]

Let me start by saying I know there are a myriad of opinions on a man working in ob. I am one who does. My issue was 2 days ago, I went in to help with an induction admission. The husband requested no "guys" when his wife is exposed, so I proceded to put her IV in and left the room. I am still new to this, so I go out of my way to respect this request, and did not intent on helping with that pt. Fast forward to today when the pediatrician made rounds. No female nurses around to make rounds with him, so I help out. We go into this patients room and the husband says, "What don't you understand, sir? We don't want you in here." The ped asked what he missed, and the dad says that hey had problems with me the day of the admission. (the one where all i did was an IV start) Never did he object to the ped on rounds, just me. (he is a guy) The point to this thread? Does it sound like I did anything wrong? I was mad and needed to vent. BTW, the pediatrician came with me to my boss and helped defend me ahead of time in case I get negetive comments from the husband. We found out he was verbally abusive of his wife and ? physical abuse. At least I don't treat my wife that way!

ps - I love this fieldof nursing and have had all positive experiencesuntil now. I know these things will happen. sorry so long in words!

[MissJoRN, RN]

Ugghhh, I don't know why but I got an abusive vibe just from the way he first spoke to you. I'm sure he's hate for his wife to find out that there might be nice men in the world. I think Dayray has a pretty reasonable approach going on.

By the way- I had three OB nurses caring for me in the first 2 hours of my LD admission- one was nasty and belittling towards me, one was great, and one made a mess of starting my IV and was so happy when she finally got it that she wrapped tape circumferentially and snuggly around my wrist severl times to keep it in place. (I understand that labor changes hemodynamics a bit but I've always been a good stick and was well hydrated) Of course the CRNA was not called to start my epidural until the IV was running and with contractions setting off an autoimmune response, I just sat there and watched without a protest. Who cares what gender the nurse is? Just give me someone with people and technical skills and the ability to think through a situation. I would have welcomed a good nurse of any gender on PP where I was handed a baggie of tylenol and motrin to take as needed and had 2 peri and fundal checks in 30 hours. (Has that much changed since I did PP nursing??)

[Jolie, BSN]

Dayray,

It's good to "see" you again!

[joeb1, ASN, BSN, RN]

dayray, i agree with your approach. in this instance no one could round with the pediatrician, so i went. but e did discharge the baby, and knowing the issue the husband took with me, guess who could have gotten them discharged within the hour like they wanted? instead i found patients who did appreciate my care and they got to leave long before the mentioned family. of course they get to choose their nurse, no objection to that, and unfortunatey, these are th kind of people who will complain that we could not get them ready to leave immediately after the order was written. thanks again, all, for the encouraging responses. sorry if grammar is subpar, i use the internet on my phone and haven't yet figured out how to capitalize.......

[TrudyRN]

thanks fo the tips. i think i will make a journal, cover my butt type of thing. never a bad idea. of course s.s. consult was made, they wanted to talk to the pt. when dear ol' hubby wasn't around. problem was, he never left her side as long as he new i was there. i find it a bit ironi that he hd no problems with the peds doc being there, even when i had never been around while his wife was, as he said, exposed. oh well, we had two sections this morning, did them both, and the pt.s and hsbands were fine with me. if one doesn't care for me, i'll lose no sleep. thanks guys!

You should also get a written statement from the Pediatrician.

I think it might not have hurt to ask the husband why he objected to a male nurse but not male physicians. Not in a challenging way, just in a "let's get your brain working" way. Of course, the caveman probably would have misinterpreted it.

From now on, no matter how inconvenient for the docs, do not go into rooms where you have had any type of problem. Go relieve a female colleague so she can round with the doc or something or call your supervisor to handle getting a chaperone/assistant.

The world is filled with nutty people, that's for sure, and this guy sounds like one of them.

I, too, hope you did or will do a referral to social services if you suspect abuse of some sort. Not wanting his wife seen by a male nurse does not, in my view, constitute abuse - just silliness and short-sightedness.

If I were you, I'd want to ask a couple of attorneys about my liability in the event that a patient or the spouse of a patient who has told you to stay away from her develops an emergency condition. Are you liable if you go into the room? Are you liable if you don't help?

Your Risk Manager needs to give you something IN WRITING that states what your employer expects of you. Something you can truly lean on because this could foreseeably happen for real and it is not fair to not tell you exactly what in the H you are supposed to do in cases like this. I bet this macho smacho idiot would be the first to sue you if you refused to help his wife or child in an emergency - or even in little things, like getting her a pillow or water. They can't have it both ways. Either you can do everything you need to do as an RN in Mother/Baby work or you can't - and there must be no liability for you if you are not allowed to.

Let us know.

[TrudyRN]

Remember that keeping a journal with specific names & info could be considered a violation of privacy (this was mentioned during our hospital's very extensive, down-to-the-minute-details HIPAA training).

Additionally, should any of those jerks try to sue you, the prosecuting attorney will ask you if you keep any personal records of patient encounters, and you will have a moral obligation to turn them over. Lawyers will try to make it look like you were doing something unethical by keeping personal records- even though in good faith, you're only trying to protect yourself.

Above all, keep doing what you're doing. We need good RN's, and you're one of them.

Daisy, forget morals here. He has a right to protect himself. Do you think your boss has your best interest at heart in telling you that? Please wake up and smell the coffee, Friend. :uhoh21: :uhoh21:

As for HIPAA, I guess he could use a patient's MR# but he does somehow have to know the date and who the patient was. Any records he keeps need to be kept locked away - like maybe in a safe deposit box, not kept in his car trunk or even his house.

[daisybaby, LPN]

Daisy, forget morals here. He has a right to protect himself. Do you think your boss has your best interest at heart in telling you that? Please wake up and smell the coffee, Friend. :uhoh21: :uhoh21:

As for HIPAA, I guess he could use a patient's MR# but he does somehow have to know the date and who the patient was. Any records he keeps need to be kept locked away - like maybe in a safe deposit box, not kept in his car trunk or even his house.

Most definitely wide awake and well-caffeinated, Trudy. A co-worker (and one of the best RNs I'll ever have the privilege of working with) was called into court for a CP case. Her personal records were subpoenaed, and the plaintiff's attorney went to town on them. Of course, she could have lied and said no, she didn't keep such records, but then, she is one of those nurses with morals, and nothing to hide. A character flaw, perhaps...