The best excuses for positive drug screens

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

I have recently had a lot of positive UDS pts, and the excuses I hear as to why they are positive simply blow my mind! Anyone have any good stories? I'll start with my favorites.....

+ marijuana: I was trapped in a car with 10 other people smoking and the windows were broken

+methamphetamine: I don't use it, I just cook it, and usually not at my own house

+cocaine: I was asleep, and my boyfriend blew it up my nose. The 2 gay men that live next to me put cocaine in their air vents, and it must have got into my apartment.

**my all-time favorite: well, of course my wife is positive for cocaine, you have no idea how many cokes she drinks everyday**

Anyone else??? :)

Do I wish all mothers cared enough that this would never be an issue? Of course, but that's not the world we live in. The issue of mothers of all stripes being treated as incubators with no human rights of their own, though, is both big enough and omnipresent enough that no one should seek to make it worse.

If you think that because a mother does drugs because doesn't "care enough" about her child, you need to be educated about how addiction works, how hard it is to stop, and why people turn to drugs in the first place.

At my facility (Iowa), we do UDS on pts. who have history of smoking during pregnancy, PTL, abruption, late and no prenatal care.

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