you're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
you're back goes out more than you do.
you quit holding your stomach in no matter who walks in the room.
you buy a compass for your car/truck.
you are proud of your lawn mower.
your arms are almost too short to reach the newspaper.
your best friend is dating someone half their age and isn't breaking any laws.
you sing along with the elevator music.
you'd rather go to work than call out sick.
you enjoy hearing about other peoples surguries.
you no longer think of speed limits as a challange.
people call you @ 9pm and ask, "did i wake you up?"
you send money to pbs.
the end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
you take a metal detector to the beach.
you know what the word equity means.
your ears are hairier than your head.
you got cable for the weather channel.
you have a party and your neighbors don't even realize it!
you get into a heated argument about pension plans.
people send you this list.
Last edit by night owl on Mar 14, '02