What will kids say next???

[NS_RN]

> Subject: What will the little ones say next

>

>

>

> > When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an

> > older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your

> > grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us

> > for Christmas." "How nice,"I said. "Where does she live?" "At the

> > airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there

>

> > and get her."

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> > When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled

>

> > out the box of animal crackers he had begged for, then he spread the

> > animal-shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. "What are you

> > doing?" his Mom asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal

> > is broken," the boy explained. "I'm looking for the seal."

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> > This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one

> > morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of

> > coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of

> > those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are

> > these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it

> > says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> > A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of

> kittens.

> > On returning home, he breathlessly informed his

> > mother, "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens." "How did

> > you know that?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked

> > underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom."

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> > While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly

> > shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon

> > rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of

> > old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I

> > found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I

> > braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely

> > turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> >

> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,our minister

> > heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead

> > robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had

> > secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made

> ready

> > for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to

> say

> > the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version

>

> > of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the

> > Faaaather. And unto the soonnn.......and

> > into the hole he gooooes."

> > ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

> >

> > A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just

> > wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't

> > write, and they won't let me talk!

> >

[NS_RN]

>

> WHAT A DIFFERENCE 30 YEARS MAKE

>

> 1972: Long hair

> 2002: Longing for hair

>

> 1972: KEG

> 2002: EKG

>

>

> 1972: Acid rock

> 2002: Acid reflux

>

> 1972: Moving to California because it's cool

> 2002: Moving to California because it's warm

>

>

> 1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

> 2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

>

> 1972: Hoping for a BMW

> 2002: Hoping for a BM

>

>

> 1972: The Grateful Dead

> 2002: Dr Kevorkian

>

> 1972: Going to a new, hip joint

> 2002: Receiving a new hip joint

>

>

> 1972: Rolling Stones

> 2002: Kidney Stones

>

> 1972: Being called into the principal's office

> 2002: Calling the principal's office

>

>

> 1972: Disco

> 2002: Costco

>

> 1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut

> 2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

>

>

> 1972: Passing the drivers' test

> 2002: Passing the vision test

>

> 1972: Whatever

> 2002: Depends

>

[itsme]

NS- That is so funny! I have to print it out!!! You have made my day!!

[tattooednursie, LVN]

LMFAO!!!!

[Darlene K.]

I love it!!

[J-RN student]

:chuckle :roll :chuckle