What the Model of Your Car Says About You

  1. From the time that I was 16, I have owned a '73 VW SuperBeetle, '84 VW Rabbit GTI, '94 Subaru Impreza, '86 Ford Escort, '86 VW Golf, '95 Saturn SC2, and on Saturday (FINALLY) a brand new car, '04 Saturn Vue.

    So I thought this was worth a chuckle...

    http://www.strangecosmos.com/read.adp?joke_id=1951
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    What the Model of Your Car Says About You !

    My Car Speaks For Itself

    Does your car make a statement? Probably so. Here's a list of cars and the statements they make on their drivers' behalf.

    Acura Integra
    I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars.

    Acura Legendary
    I'm too bland for German cars.

    Acura NSX
    I am impotent.

    AMC Gremlin
    I could only afford three-fourths of a Hornet.

    AMC Marlin
    My father wouldn' t buy me a Camaro.

    Audi 90
    I enjoy putting out engine fires

    Audi 80
    I thought the 4000s was too fast.

    Austin-Healey 3000
    I can put raw meat on the transmission hump and have a well done steak by the time I arrive anywhere.

    Buick Park Avenue
    I am older than 34 of the 50 states.

    Buick Riviera Convertible
    I'm not very smart, and I look like it too.

    Buick Electra
    Hey, it's 30-year old technology. But it's GOOD 30-year old technology.

    Buick Reatta
    I like ugly, impractical, boring cars.

    Cadillac Cimarron
    I am stupid enough to pay extra money for an uglified Chevrolet.

    Cadillac Eldorado
    I am a very good Mary Kay salesman.

    Cadillac Seville
    I am a pimp.

    Chevrolet Camaro
    I enjoy beating up people.

    Chevrolet Chevette
    I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette.

    Chevrolet Corvette
    I'm in a mid-life crisis.

    Chevrolet El Camino
    I am leading a militia to overthrow the government.

    Chrysler 5th Ave
    Did the pushpins come free with the headliner?

    Chrysler Cordoba
    I dig the rich Corinthian leather.

    Datsun 280Z
    I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well.

    Dodge Charger
    Reliable is boring. My car is exciting.

    Dodge Dart
    I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower.

    Dodge Daytona
    I delivered pizza for four years to get this car.

    Ford Fairmont
    (See Dodge Dart)

    Ford Mustang
    I slow down to 85 in school zones.

    Ford Crown Victoria
    I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them.

    Geo Storm
    I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

    Geo Tracker
    I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

    Honda del Sol
    I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all.

    Honda Civic
    I have just graduated and have no credit.

    Honda Accord
    I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

    Infiniti Q45
    I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

    Isuzu Impulse
    I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

    Jaguar XJ6
    I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

    Jeep Wrangler
    I am fiercely independent, just like all my friends with Jeeps.

    Kia Sephia
    I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu.

    Lotus Esprit
    Ever pay $2000 for a tune up? I do.

    Lincoln Town Car
    I live for bingo and covered dish suppers.

    Mercedes 500SL
    I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.

    Mazda Miata
    I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler.

    MGB
    I am dating a mechanic.

    Mitsubishi Diamante
    I don't know what it means either.

    Mitsubishi Eclipse GST
    Why accelerate? Because you can!

    Nissan 300ZX
    I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

    Oldsmobile Cutlass
    I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts.

    Peugeot 505 Diesel
    I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List.

    Plymouth Fury
    I like driving an air-conditioned sofa that can carry your car in my trunk as a spare.

    Plymouth Neon
    I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena.

    Pontiac Trans AM
    I have a switchblade in my sock.

    Porsche 944
    I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me.

    Renault 2CV
    I think your car is ugly too.

    Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
    I think Pat Buchanan is a tad too liberal.

    Subaru Legacy
    I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu.

    Triumph TR6
    I am an amateur mechanic who enjoys a challenge.

    Toyota Camry
    I am still in the closet.

    Volkswagon Beetle
    I still watch Partridge Family reruns.


    Volkswagon Cabriolet
    I am out of the closet.

    VW Rabbit GTi
    My mom won't let me buy a Porsche 'til I finish Algebra.

    VW Jetta
    I stopped smoking pot when I got a real job after college. I swear.

    Volkswagon Microbus
    I am tripping right now.

    Volvo 740 Wagon
    I am frightened of my wife.

    Volvo 240
    Other drivers are unsafe. Let me go ahead and pull out in front of this guy to slow him down.
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