The Woman's Guide to What Men Really Mean

  1. I'm hungry: I'm hungry.
    I'm sleepy: I'm sleepy.
    I'm tired: I'm tired.
    Do you want to go to a movie?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    Can I take you out to dinner?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    Can I call you sometime?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    May I have this dance?: I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
    Nice dress!: Nice cleavage!
    You look tense, let me give you a massage: I want to fondle you.
    What's wrong?: 1What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? 2I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
    I'm bored: Do you want to have sex?
    I love you: Let's have sex now.
    I love you, too: Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
    Yes, I like the way you cut your hair: 1I liked it better before. 2$50 and it doesn't look that much different!
    Let's talk: I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
    Will you marry me?: I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

    I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together: I am gay.
    •  
  2. 5 Comments

  3. by   havok
    you forgot the classic...

    anything you say dear: If I pretend like I'm listening will you stop talking?
  4. by   Asklepios
    That pretty much covers it!!!
  5. by   Diary/Dairy
    LOL - Thanks for the posting!!!
  6. by   nurse healer
    ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon][color=maroon]

    he: can i buy you a drink?
    she: actually i'd rather have the money.

    he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.
    she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.

    he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
    she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.

    he : how did you get to be so beautiful?
    she : i must've been given your share.

    he : will you go out with me this saturday?
    she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.

    he : your face must turn a few heads.
    she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.

    he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.
    she : okay, get out.

    he : i think i could make you very happy.
    she : why? are you leaving?

    he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?
    she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.

    he : can i have your name?
    she : why? don't you already have one?

    he : shall we go see a movie?
    she : i've already seen it.

    he : where have you been all my life?
    she : hiding from you.

    he : haven't i seen you some place before?
    she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.

    he : is this seat empty?
    she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

    he : so, what do you do for a living?
    she : i'm a female impersonator.

    he : hey baby, what's your sign?
    she : do not enter.

    he : your body is like a temple.
    she : sorry, there are no services today.

    he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.
    she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.

  7. by   NEsoon2beRN
    Quote from nurse healer
    ways to turn down unwanted men !!!! [color=maroon]

    [color=maroon]he: can i buy you a drink?
    [color=maroon]she: actually i'd rather have the money.

    [color=maroon]he : i'm a photographer. i've been looking for a face like yours.
    [color=maroon]she : i'm a plastic surgeon. i've been looking for a face like yours.

    [color=maroon]he : hi. didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
    [color=maroon]she : must've been once. i never make the same mistake twice.

    [color=maroon]he : how did you get to be so beautiful?
    [color=maroon]she : i must've been given your share.

    [color=maroon]he : will you go out with me this saturday?
    [color=maroon]she : sorry. i'm having a headache this weekend.

    [color=maroon]he : your face must turn a few heads.
    [color=maroon]she : and your face must turn a few stomachs.

    [color=maroon]he : go on ,don't be shy. ask me out.
    [color=maroon]she : okay, get out.

    [color=maroon]he : i think i could make you very happy.
    [color=maroon]she : why? are you leaving?

    [color=maroon]he : what would you say if i asked you to marry me?
    [color=maroon]she : nothing. i can't talk and laugh at the same time.

    [color=maroon]he : can i have your name?
    [color=maroon]she : why? don't you already have one?

    [color=maroon]he : shall we go see a movie?
    [color=maroon]she : i've already seen it.

    [color=maroon]he : where have you been all my life?
    [color=maroon]she : hiding from you.

    [color=maroon]he : haven't i seen you some place before?
    [color=maroon]she : yes. that's why i don't go there anymore.

    [color=maroon]he : is this seat empty?
    [color=maroon]she : yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

    [color=maroon]he : so, what do you do for a living?
    [color=maroon]she : i'm a female impersonator.

    [color=maroon]he : hey baby, what's your sign?
    [color=maroon]she : do not enter.

    [color=maroon]he : your body is like a temple.
    [color=maroon]she : sorry, there are no services today.

    [color=maroon]he: if i could see you naked, i'd die happy.
    [color=maroon]she : if i saw you naked, i'd probably die laughing.

    this was so funny, i couldn't stop lauging!

close