Redneck Medical Terms

  1. Benign...What you be after you be eight
    Artery...The study of paintings
    Bacteria...Back door to cafeteria
    Barium....What doctors do when patients die
    Cesarean Section..Neighborhood in Rome
    Catscan...Searching for kitty
    Cauterize...Made eye contact with her
    Colic... a sheep dog
    Coma...A punctuation mark
    D&C...where washington is
    Dilate...To live long
    Enema...not a friend
    Fester...quicker than someone else
    Fibula...a small lie
    Gentital...non-jewish person
    G.I.Series...world series of military baseball
    Hangnail...what you hang your coat on
    Impotent...distinguished,well known
    Labor pain...getting hurt at work
    Medical staff...a doctor's cane
    morbid...a higher offer than i bid
    Nitrates...cheaper than day rates
    Node...i knew it
    Outpatient...a person who has fainted
    Pap Smear...a fatherhood test
    Pelvis...second cousin to Elvis
    Post-operatiive..a letter carrier
    Recovery room...place to do upholstery
    Rectum...damn near killed him
    Secretion...hiding something
    Seizure...Roman emperor
    Tablet...small table
    Terminal illness...getting sick at the airport
    Tumor...more than one
    Urine...opposite if you're out
    Varicose...near by/close by
    Vulva...Swedish automobile
    And some that we use in my unit:
    FTD...Fixin to die
    NTD...Needs to die
    Circling the drain...see FTD
    CABG...Coronary artery bypass graft
    Saurkraut...CABG gone bad
    Brussel sprout...CABGx1
    Troll Patrol...working the pod we all the bad CABGs
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  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   Roach
    LOL...little old lady
    LOL"squared"...little old lady lying
    on linoleum
    Chicken Breath....chee can't breath
    All Swoeled....all swollen
    The bucket is in front of the patient's
    foot and they are getting ready
    to kick it
    The patient is seeing a big bright light
    in their room
    Celestial D/C...the big nsg home in the
    sky

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Redneck Medical Terms