Real Life 101 ...

  1. Ready ?

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

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    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

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    There are two kinds of pedestrians - the quick and the dead.

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    Life is sexually transmitted.

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    An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

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    If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said,"Quit while you're ahead?"

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    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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    Subject: 2 EMOTIONS Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!

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    Get the last word in: Apologize.

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    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks
    about seeing UFOs like they use to?

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    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

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    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

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    Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

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    In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
    weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

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    Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

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    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
    box to start a campfire?

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    AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: You read about all these Terrorists-- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas,
    some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two
    days late with a video and those people are all over you. I think we should put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.


    Have a great day, Allnurses !
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  2. 4 Comments

  3. by   tattooednursie
    LOL
  4. by   Shamrock
  5. by   KIWIRN
    Great!! love these, i may have to incorporate some of these sayings in my every day life:roll
  6. by   nowplayingEDRN
    Subject: 2 EMOTIONS Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection make him a sandwich!.......... In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
    weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    Hehehehehehehehe!!:chuckle :roll Oh I loved these!!!!

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