Political Correctness Gone Too Far

[Jenny P]

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

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1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

9. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

10. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.

11. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

12. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

13. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COSTPROVIDER. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

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1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes

ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

[Andy S., BSN, RN]

laughed so hard i cried!!!!!!

thanks

andy

[SICU Queen]

OMG! I'm gonna puke from laughing so hard. Thanks for the day-brightener!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

Hi yall

From deep in the heart of texas

In the best of interests for this coloumn, I will remain politically correct

1> No Comment

2> This is too much information

3> Sorry didnt hear that, ny hearing loss is acting up

4> Hope you have a good day

5> Ah Huh

6> Sorry got to go empty that bedpan

7> What about those yankees

8> How about that Tiger Woods

9> How hot do you make your chili

10> do you like cheese on your cheeseburger???

11> How do you feel about Jimmy Carter???

12> I see the sky is clear, are the stars out tonight

keep it in the short grass, yalll

teeituptom