Nursing Humor

  1. 0
    Subject: Nurses

    Q: Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell?
    A: It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!

    You know you're a nurse if...You believe every patient needs TLC:
    > >Thorazine,Lorazepam and Compazine.

    You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one
    night.

    You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.

    Your sense of humor seems to get more "warped" each year.

    You know the phone numbers of every late night food delivery place in town
    by heart.

    You can only tell time with a 24 hour clock Almost everything can seem
    humorous...eventually.

    When asked, "What color is the patient's diarrhea?", you show them your
    shoes.

    Every time you walk, you make a rattling noise because of all the scissors
    and clamps in your pockets
    You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing you
    than he can.

    You carry "spare" meds in your pocket rather than wait for pharmacy to
    deliver.
    You refuse to watch ER because it's too much like the real thing and
    triggers "flash backs."

    You check the caller ID when the phone rings on your day off to see if
    someone from the Hospital/Agency is trying to call to ask you to work.
    You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table
    throw up.

    You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a
    nurse.

    Every time someone asks you for a pen, you can find at least three of them
    on you.

    You can intubate your friends at parties, You don't get excited about blood
    loss...unless it's your own.

    You live by the motto, "To be right is only half the battle, to convince the
    physician is more difficult."

    You've basted your Thanksgiving turkey with a Toomey syringe.

    You've told a confused patient your name was that of your coworker and to
    HOLLER if they need help.

    Eating microwave popcorn out a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

    Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank.

    When checking the level of orientation of a patient, you aren't sure of the
    answer.

    You find yourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting
    lines.

    You can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table during dinner break,
    sitting up and not be embarrassed when you wake up.

    You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they'll drop
    near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

    You've sworn you're going to have "NO CODE" tattooed on your chest.
    .
  2. 3 Comments so far...

  3. 0
    Yes. DNR on the sternum, No IV on the anticubitals, the carotids, and the subclavians. On the belly, NO Tubes, and on the mons, no foley. I think I have covered all bases.
  4. 0
    ROFLMBO!!!!! What's sad is most of these are true!!!
  5. 0
    the nurse that died and went to hell and it took her/him.......


    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!

    AND THANKS FOR ALL THE REST!!!!!!!!!


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