Nurse Poem (too funny)

Also found on the SNURSE-L listserv.

> A nurse's job goes on and on,
> doing tasks from dusk to dawn.
> There's mes, there's records, and requests to write,
> running tests all day and night.

A nurse's job goes on and on,
and on and on and on and ON,
There's screaming patients down the hall,
In 13, Aggie's had a fall.

> Though busy with input on computer lap,
> they fluff up pillows so I can take a nap.
> The nurse of today is the doctor's right arm,
> guiding the patient through sickness and harm.

Our pillows are all canvas-coated,
Concrete-filled and rather bloated,
We try our best demands to meet,
But - this sorry doctor's all left feet.

> A compassionate nurse in word and deed,
> is always there in time of need.
> It's from A to Z the jobs that you do,
> we can't make it through life without assiatance from you.

They never come when he's unwell -
I'm hammering this *******' bell!
How'm I s'posed to get a bottle...
(This screaming child I'm about to throttle.)

> I've seen this nurse in many a land,
> from hospital ship to war's blood soaked sand.
> Through pain and sickness; lost hope and dispair,
> the corpsman, the nurse, you are physically there.

My dearest dream, my fondest wish -
That my next nurse be speaking English!
Through ten long hours, no how, no way,
Couldn't understand a word she'd say.

> I may never need a nuclear tech.
> But without a nurse my life's ship is sure to wreck.
> Praise the Lord, your heart cries a nurse is here.

Life's ship be damned, my 'roids are smarting,
Leave off your senseless, endless charting!
Ring cushions by the truckload... oi!
That electric wheelchair's not a toy!

> It does not matter if you're young or old,
> the touch of a nurse has the warmth of gold.
> I'm just, as you see, an old military guy,
> but I've received your compassion from land, sea, and sky.

The old ones moan, and wheeze, and creak;
The young ones dither, far too meek
To drag me off this comfy bed
And walk me, like the doctor said.

> As I'm finishing life and all my friends have died,
> give me a blessing from God and put a nurse at my side.
> Yes, praise the Lord my heart cries as I glance through a tear,
> it's like back in Mom's arms when the Nurses are here.

My nurse is fully six foot three,
No mother in compassion he,
But "mother"'s what I call him when
He treads on my damn oxygen!



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Brian Short
WORLDWIDE NURSE: The Internet's Nursing Directory
wwnurse.com/