How You Can Tell When It's Going To Be

betts · Apr 14, 2002

* You wake up face down on the pavement.

* You went to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

* You put your bra on backward and it fits better.

* You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

* You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

* You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your class.

* You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then you realize that you don't have a waterbed.

* Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on to the freeway.

* Your instructor tells you not to bother to take off your coat.

* The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

* You wake up and your braces are locked together.

* You walk to class and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.

* Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

* Your income tax check bounces.

* You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.

* You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

* Your pet rock snaps at you.