Funny nursing stories

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    As a home health aid, my job was to travel to people's houses each day and assist with several different cares. I was at the house of a basically comatose older gentleman and my duties were to provide him with a bed bath and then transfer him from the bed to a chair. I had finished with his bath and I had worked the hoyer lift sheet under him when he started farting. I waited for a few minutes because since he was bare-bottomed, I didn't want to have to clean up a mess on the floor. Once his gas was gone, I used the hoyer to get him up in the air. he was positioned above his wheelchair when his foley cath line got caught.... I untangled it and went under his body to get it to the chair when all the sudden his body slid down in the lift, and just as I noticed his bare bottom right above me, I looked up just in time to see a HUGE stream of black, tarry poop hitting me in the face!!! I was completely covered in his poo but I still had to finish getting him into his wheelchair and finish up before I was able to get into my car and race home to shower!

    UGH
    martinalpn likes this.
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  5. 0
    Well, so often I read stories of funny things that patients have done. I mean, we do deal with them at their most vulnerable moments. But, I do think that that, in turn, gives us, as healthcare providers, our own sense of vulnerability. Having said that, I will admit I am a clutz. I define the word. I am not graceful in any sense of the word and I have accepted this.

    So, there I was, working a typical 12 hour shift in a small hospital ER when a call came in about an attempted suicide. Another nurse came from the floor to help me. I was about 8 months out of school and was working with a rather intimidating doctor, so I needed all the help I could get. We prepared the room with what we would need and shortly thereafter the patient was wheeled in on a stretcher with his eyes closed, still breathing (and I think a little upset to find himself in this situation). :zzzzz We moved him to the cart and I began asking him questions. The ambulance crew reported that he had taken his full bottle of atenolol--which the label read "25" pills on the side and it was filled about 3 days prior. The patient's BP and pulse were, of course, on the low side, but holding steady. I was then informed that the patient's wife was in the waiting room and I proceeded to let her in and explain what was going on.

    At this point, the second nurse was on the phone with poison control and I was preparing to initiate another IV to administer medications while the first IV was bolusing the patient. The second nurse hung up and came over to start the paperwork (charting, consents, etc). :typing She located herself on the patient's left side, while I, on the patient's right, was searching for another site for an IV. The patient's wife was to my left (at the head of the bed) talking with patient and crying.

    On a side note, I'm a big believer in wearing comfortable shoes and had been talked into buying these "swiss" orthopedic clogs that added about 2 inches of height to me, but had no strap on the back. I had found out, the hard way, that if I got to walking too fast that I would just kick them off. So, I learned to watch my step and kept wearing them nevertheless.

    Anyway, I decided to put the siderail down on the cart so that I could get a better vantage point to start an IV on this patient (who was still stable at this point). I leaned to my right towards the end of the bed to release the locking mechanism on the side rail. But, for some unknown reason, my left foot began to twist inwards, thereby leaving me no support with which to hold myself up--having been leaning to my right anyway, I proceeded to fall in that direction. I found myself desperately trying to cling to gravity, as well as the anything within my reach. What came into my grasp was the exam room curtain. This slowed down the descent, until I realized that the curtain was movable. I fell. The curtain opened. The wife of the patient reaches for me "Oh my god are you ok" (and for just a minute, had stopped crying long enough to let out a little giggle). :chuckle As I was getting up, I looked across the bed to the other nurse, who was looking at me over the brim of her glasses. She would have looked genuinely concerned, had I not seen her shoulders bouncing from laughter as she continued to chart. The doctor, who had been standing in the doorway, witnessed the entire event. He never said anything, but wore a smirk on his face the rest of the day. The patient never responded to this and in the end--was sent home. At the end of the day, all that was hurt was my pride.
  6. 0
    :redpinkheI work for my parents practice, Pediatric Heart Care. I am to obtain a ECG on all patients. Seven years I have worked with the elderly and the experience I have with pediatric's is my three kids, which did not prepare me for this position as I assumed (so wrongly)it would. I think I became more frightened I would frighten the children with my explinations on what I was doing until I came up with this: When I was trying to keep a six year old child from getting frightened, I asked him what his favorite cartoon was? He responded like most kids, SpoongeBob. Like I have told all the kids that say SpoongBob. So I started, "first I am going to put stickers on your chest, then place the cords to the stickers, then you'll look like sqiudward, with all his tenticles. He liked the idea, but when I begin to say "I'm going to push this button and the machine," he cut me off and said "It will make me turn blue?." I think I still need much practice.
  7. 0
    I'm not sure if I could express myself that clear because english is not our first language but I will try my very best.... :typing They say that being a nurse is categorized into two. The thinking nurse and the following nurse... As I go along the pathway of nursing, I realize that during your first few months of being a nurse in a hospital setting,....you will fall into the category of the following nurse .
    A bad cateogry you said? yes i think too. So let me go back to my story. I've been stuck into the world of being a plain housewife for 10 years before I was able to into nursing. yes i know.... my brain needs saome oil too to get going.... So in the end... i always get confused and scared whenever i need to make a decision...which fair enough i was able to survive by the way. Now here i go, during my night shifts, my knees are shaking whenever endorsement time is fast approaching. my shift is 10pm to 6am by the way. As the clock strikes 5am my knees are shaking and my stomach is gurgling with acids and crambling already.:smiley_abas if theres the survival of the featest going on inside. Our hospital that time is still very conservative using the uniform of florence nightingale . so we still have the traditional white cap and wearing white stockings and skirt. ha ha ha. Since im a more conservative type, i still wear a white thin short inside that is a silky type or jersy type of cloth. One night i had a terrible busy night duty.... Ho ho ho! All i want is to get over my duty and finish my work. so after a night of usual nursing, ngt feeding for 3pts, handling 2 pts in convulsion and asthmatic attack of 1 where i need to roll the big oxygen tank to bedside because the orderly is not around...i felt very exhausted and drained. i was not able to notice that while i was endorsing and we're making our rounds to the rooms, my thin silky short is already going down because the garter broke!!! Lo and behold, i just noticed that its hard for me to do the walking and one of the father of our patient is chuckling so much but i still kept on endorsing and doing the talking.after finishing the endorsement on the last room, i almost tumble to the ground because my short are already on my knees ! instead of looking back, i hurriedly go to the bathroom and remove my shorts! after that night, i had 2days absent and asked the staff on duty first if all the patients are discharged already so i could get back to work. I can never ever really face them. And everytime I go to that room, I can't help myselflaugh at myself and now as a clinical instructor, i always tell my students, although you are very busy, find composure and time for you to fix yourself before the endorsement time.
    Last edit by jamielicious on Sep 25, '08 : Reason: not finished yet
  8. 1
    I've been around in nursing for some years now, some may say too many! but during this time I too have picked up the odd "funny story" my favourite however is the one I am about to share with you.

    I am trained in both psychiatric and general nursing (as it is referred to here in the U.K) and my story concerns a sweet little lady who I had the pleasure of caring for over many years. For the sake of this story we will call her Nora. Nora was well known throughout the large victorian psychiatric Institution where I used to work. she was pleasent, happy and very considerate,maybe a little too considerate, for Nora was quite free at times with her sexual favours if the price was right!

    On this particular day I was walking through the ward doing my usual round when I overheard Nora talking to one of her fellow female patients, she was recounting a rather steamy intimate encounter with a male resident from another ward within the hospital. :wink2:

    It would appear that this frenzied moment of passion had cost the male patient a large bar of chocolate! when asked by her fellow patient "had Nora enjoyed it" (referring to ,as I assumed and I am sure she meant, the passionate experiences described so fully previously) Nora quickly replyed " it was o.k but I prefer the bars with the nuts in !" it was all I could to do to keep myself from laughing out loud and alerting my patients to my eaves dropping episode. I have never been able to look at a bar of whole chocolate in quite the same way since !
    canoehead likes this.
  9. 0
    In 1990 I got my first overseas nursing experience in one of the hospitals in Milan Italy and during my first months it was so hard to learn the language and at the same time adjust to the environment. Everyday after my duty I go to my Italian class which I started studying back home before I left. In the ward I have a senior nurse to run to in case I got rattled with the language since it was my first week in the ward …one day I was assisting an Alzheimer patient to the bathroom and every time I make something that she likes she keep on saying “che carina come sei brava”…and with a smile. so I was so overwhelmed excited that she likes the way I care for her but I wondered why she called me Carina?…..after almost an hour the patient was ready…dressed up, hair done and with the perfume sprayed all over…suddenly the patient sneeze it was so strong that her false teeth fly out and landed to the other patient who was sleeping then….the bad thing is it landed in her face! The other patient got so mad that she threw it out of the window….gosh…I wanted to laugh but I cant my patient is already upset then and the other patients in the room were all laughing , suddenly my patient started to cry looking for her false teeth….so I need to go out and look for it outside and I guess it took me 15 to 20 minutes to find it….when I found it I gave it back to her and again I heard her say “ grazie carina signorina”……so I wondered again and this time I told the patient “Prego signora ma io sono Gemma non e Carina”… my senior nurse and the other patients heard me and they told me that Carina means your nice…..the patient is not addressing my name……there was laughter in the crowd but at least my patient was contented with my care in spite the false teeth hassle…im nice…..che carina…..


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