Dear Whiners and Complainers

  1. Two years ago was my 45th birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.
    She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you, the children will remember." The children never said a word.

    When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good Morning, boss. Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
    worked until noon. Then, Janet knocked on my door and said "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out to the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and I enjoyed lunch tremendously.

    On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

    After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."
    "Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.
    And there I sat...on the couch...naked.

    It was all down hill from there. My wife left with the kids, my boss fired me, my friends hated me, I couldn't afford the payments on the car and I had to sell it, I started eating to much and gained weight. I moved to another town and got a job in Kmart and I am trying to start over. I learned the hard way never to assume, because it makes an ass out of you and me.
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Mar 11, '04
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  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   AmyB
    What's the rest of the story, Fran? Does it just end with "and I am trying to start..."? I look forward to the end. It's a great story!!!
  4. by   jnette
    Quote from AmyB
    What's the rest of the story, Fran? Does it just end with "and I am trying to start..."? I look forward to the end. It's a great story!!!

    :chuckle YO ! Fran !!! Did ya drift off to sleep on us in the middle of the story?
  5. by   chaosRN
    I'm with the other two Fran, Are ya going to finish?? :chuckle
  6. by   FranEMTnurse
    ALL UPDATED! :hatparty: That was the way the original story ended. I guess you had to use your imagination. So to make it easier, I made it make a little more sense.
  7. by   AmyB
    Thank you Fran!!!
  8. by   Prof Reed
    I was observing a nursing student doing a dressing change. I gloved just in case I needed to help her out during the process. To keep my gloves sterile, I clasp my hands together in front of my chest. The patient is watching the student and then watching me. He says to me: "Are you praying that everything will turn out okay?" At first, I didn't know what he was talking about, then realized how my folded hands, posture, head slightly bent forward (so I could see better) must look to the patient. I assured him that prayer wasn't needed at that time and that the student was doing an excellent job with the dressing change. We all had a good laugh over that one.
  9. by   FranEMTnurse
    You're very welcome.
  10. by   chaosRN
    Originally Posted by Prof Reed
    [QUOTE]I was observing a nursing student doing a dressing change. I gloved just in case I needed to help her out during the process. To keep my gloves sterile, I clasp my hands together in front of my chest. The patient is watching the student and then watching me. He says to me: "Are you praying that everything will turn out okay?" At first, I didn't know what he was talking about, then realized how my folded hands, posture, head slightly bent forward (so I could see better) must look to the patient. I assured him that prayer wasn't needed at that time and that the student was doing an excellent job with the dressing change. We all had a good laugh over that one.[/QUOTE]

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