A drunks understanding of Medical Jargon...

Nurses Humor

Published

A HBD (has been drinking) patient is admitted after finishing a 26er in 15 mins flat. Here is a look into what he thinks when we converse near him.......

1] Anti-body - Against everyone

2] Artery - The study of fine paintings

3] Bacteria - The back door of a cafeteria

4] Barium - What you do after CPR fails

5] Benign - What you are after you be eight and before you be ten

6] Bowel - A letter like A,E,I,O,U, and sometimes Y

7] Cesaerean section - A district in Rome

8] Cardiac arrest - Taken into custody after stealing a coupe deville

9] Cardiology - Advance study of poker playing

10] CAT Scan - Searching for the kitty

11] Cauterize - To make eye contact with a woman

12] Charlie Horse - A 10 to 1 long shot in the Kentucky Derby

13] Colic - A sheep dog

14] Coma - A punctuation mark

15] Congenital - Friendly

16] D&C - Where Washington is

17] Dilate - To live long

18] Enema - Not a friend

19] Fester - Uncle

20] Fibula - A small white lie

21] Genes - What you wear cutting grass

22] Genital - Not a Jew

23] G.I. Series - A baseball game between teams of soldiers

24] Hangnail - A coat hook

25] Hemorrhoid - A male alien from outerspace

27] Hormones - What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

28] Impotent - Distinguished, well known

29] Labor pain - Getting hurt at work

30] Medical staff - A doctor's cane

31] Minor operation - Coal digging

32] Morbid - A higher offer

33] Nitrates - Cheaper than the day rates

34] Node - Was aware of

35] Organic - An organ work repairman

36] Outpatient - A patient who has fainted

37] Pap smear - A fatherhood test

38] Paralyze - Two far fetched stories

39] Pelvis - A cousinof Elvis

40] Pharmacist - A person who makes living in agriculture

41] Post-operative - A letter carrier

42] Protein - In favor of young people

43] Recovery room - Where they do upholstery

44] Rectum - Dang near killed 'em

45] Scalpel - What you stand on to clean windows in high rise buildings

46] Secretion - Hiding something

47] Seizure - A Roman emperor

48] Tablet - A small table

49] Terminal illness - Getting sick at the airport

52] Tumor - An extra pair

53] Urine - The opposite of "you are out"

54] Vericose - Nearby

55] Vein - Conceited

Any More?????

:devil: Zhakrin :devil:

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