My nurse trainor at my building came up to me at 9:00AM to tell me I had made "a couple errors" on Friday. She said she could not recall exactly what they were, but I was no longer allowed to pass medications (I should go back to observing) and that I would need to do a complete med pass with her observing me. I was shocked because I have been there a month and had made an error already by not giving a scheduled .25 of Ativan. The nurse I was with today said she beleived it was because I signed a med on a new admit but that the bingo tab had no pill missing so I did not give it to her. The initials (mine) are in a strange place and I DO NOT think I intitialed that. I recall that I did not have a med but cannot remember if I borrowed one (wrong, but the nurses I worked with did it) or talked to someone that I didn't have it or it it was even that patient. It seems like something happened and I guess it is my fault. Someone had to be going over the MAR very carefully to find an error like that.
It is a very busy floor with end stage patients receiving pallative care (dosing every 1/2 hour). Behaviors are present and the usual CBG's that should be done early and certain people eating that you have to get before they go to sleep, etc. I find it difficult to schedule my day not knowing my patients schedules. They are all on multiple medications as they are somewhat long term care and somewhat Rehab. I have been there for 1 month and have been trained on 3 different hallways. I am unable to remember 20 diags, faces, schedules and following three different nurses. I am a BRAND NEW nurse. I was teary and confused and found it difficult with what the nurse trainer told me and went to find her to talk more with her. She was in a meeting and my DON was not in. I left a message with my nurse and said I needed to clear my head (I could not focus and felt blind-sided and stupid and humiliated to have to start over). Maybe I could not do this job safely? I went home and left messages for my DON and the nurse trainer.
My question: Are they telling me to go? That is what I feel or am I being too sensitive?