Hello fellow nurses I would like get some advice from about my future as a nurse. I would like to start first by giving a little hx. I got into nursing because I have always wanted to help people holistically in my community. I got into a program a couple of years back and was doing so well. I really excelled and was an A student throughout school (both in the classroom and during my clinical rotations). So I thought I was doing well however I had one the nursing instructor ( who I looked up to) come to me and tell me that she rather have a "C" student care for her any day rather than an "A" student. That comment shot me down because I was this "A" student. From that moment on I became very insecure in my abilities as a nurse and questioned rather I was any good enough to be a nurse. I never let it show though, I walked around with this false sense of confidence but deep down inside I was always terrified that I would harm someone because in my mind I was not good enough. Then the day came in my 4th term when I made the mistake. My instructor told everyone at the beginning of the clinicals that if anyone make any mistakes that they were getting kicked out of the nursing program
. This added an extra level of fear because I had worked so hard to get to that 4th term. That same day she followed me as I cared for my patients. When I got to my second patient, i walked in the room and called the patient by his name and introduced myself. He answered and we made small talk for a minute, then I told him I was there to give him his medications. After giving his first two meds, he had an insulin dose that was scheduled. At this point I then checked his armband then realized that he was not my patient. I was HORRIFIED!. This mistake has haunted me. The instructor that I had at the time was not supportive and would leave us while she met her boyfriend downstairs daily, so I always felt that I was lost. I am by no means blaming anyone for my mistakes but I feel that if I had had more guidance and support I would not be where I am today. When I graduated from school I felt in my heart that I really didn't deserve to be there on that stage graduating with honors because I had mess up so badly. After school I got a job right after passing the NCLEXN. The job was a home health position in which I worked for two years. I later realized that I was suffering from depression so I quit that job and have not worked now for a year. I still have the passion for nursing and would like to one day get over this fear any advice to give to a novice?