Cover Letter Critique...please read

  1. I'm writing a cover letter for a medicine/telemetry position at a local hospital and I would really appreciate some feedback.

    Jane Doe
    555 Anywhere USA
    November13th, 2012

    1455 Appletree lane
    Some Big Hospital

    To Whom it May Concern,

    I'm interested in the position available at your facility for a telemetry/medicalnurse. I came across your position on the xxx website and was immediately drawn to it. I have always had a passion for telemetry/medicine since I was in nursing school. I believe this opportunity will create a great, solid foundation of my present and future nursing knowledge.

    I would make an excellent candidate for your hospital because I am willing to accept challenges while keeping an open mind. I had a clinical rotation at xxx Hospital in the telemetry/medical unit and it was an excellent experience. I was able to learn basic ECG interpretation and how to care for patients with CHF, Renal failure, MI, gastric disorders, etc. During my time in clinical rotations I developed a sharp sense of multitasking while learning to assess situations quickly, administer medications accurately, and work well as part of a team. I'm efficient in Microsoft Word, Excel and PowerPoint. I can apply my knowledge of BLS and ACLS for all my patients.

    Working for your institution has always been a dream of mine due to the large, diverse community that you serve. I am also thrilled by all the specialties that your hospital has to offer. Your hospital seems to be a great place to learn and advance your career in the future. My goal is to combine what I have learned in school with what I can learn at your facility to the care of my patients. Overall I plan to improve patient care and satisfaction for all of my patients. Patients in my care will be pleased and satisfied with their care.

    I believe that your institution deserves a fresh and enthusiastic new nurse who is willing to take on new and challenging experiences. I want to be that nurse who is constantly learning while providing safe, quality patient care. I look forward to discussing future possibilities of employment with you. Have a great day.

    Jane Doe, RN, B.S.
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    Joined: Aug '12; Posts: 6; Likes: 1