LPN Seeking Reinstatement

[xjailnurse]

I'm preparing to sign a three year contract with the Peer Nurse Assistance Program to increase my chances of reinstatement. I've been signed up with First Labs since late Sept and have given 7 clean urines.

I had 9.5 years clean and relapsed for 44 days in late 2002. I took 3 weeks vacation from my job and went to an inpatient rehab half way across the state to avoid running into any inmates (I was a correctional nurse). Upon discharge, I did become worried about my job finding out about my relapse so I sought out the VRP (there was no PNAP in my state at that time). The VRP discovered that I had a misdemeanor possesision conviction for marjuana from 1989 that I never told the SBON about and reported me to the BON and denied me admission to their program. My job fired me in May 2003 when the Board investigators showed up and told them that I would "soon" be losing my license. (I wish they would have defined "soon" as it was another 2.5 years before it went before the board) I hired an attourney and after a lenghthy process, my license was suspended for a minimim of 3 years in 2005.

I've been working as a residential aide in a group home for mentally and physically challenged females since 2004. I've also became a Humane Society police officer in 2008. I've gotten very involved in animal rescue and do alot volunteer work with my local shelter. I've also had breast cancer and a mastectomy and chemo in 07 and 08. During chemo, I was prescribed oxycontins and abused them for 3 months til I went on Suboxone. (This was my only relapse since the 44 day relapse in 2002) I'm still on Suboxone though I've gone from 24mg down to 8mg in the last 2 months. PNAP can't "officially" accept me until I'm off of Suboxone. I just recently started going to meetings again (I haven't been going to meetings for 7 years) but I'm only going because I know I'm going to have to go once I sign this contract.

I've been tapering 2mg every 2 weeks; I'm targeting being Suboxone-free in early January but if things get shady, I may have to stretch the decreases. My PNAP case manager said that shortly after that we will be requesting reinstatement, which was a nice surprise but I'm not getting my hopes up. I read the BON disaplinary actions online and I see them do some erratic things and some days it gives me hope and some days it makes me angry.

There are days I want to just say forget it, I was getting along just fine without it, but I want to at least give it one shot; and if the BON does not reinstate on first request, I will then decide if I want to continue. The cost and the general pain in the butt of it all is starting to become a little more routine.

This forum is great; I've been reading it for days and have learned alot and I don't feel so alone in my frustration. I also am feeling some gratitude as my contract is 3 years and a few things have been waived on it that would have been a huge pain to me so I do need to remember to be grateful for those things too.

Thanks.

[jackstem]

Why not take it one day at a time...meaning focus on getting of the suboxone and having a period of time in recovery off the suboxone. That will give you time to establish a strong recovery program without the suboxone before beginning the challenging process of reinstating your license.

I find that staying in the moment relieves me of the stress that comes from projecting all of the "what ifs" that come when I try to predict the future.

We can do more than we think when we stay in the present and deal with the next step in the process.

I wish you luck! Please keep us posted.

Jack