The Patient I Failed

I met her one Tuesday night, and spent that night pouring Jevity into her tube, only to suction it back out. Her legs were cool and mottled, her bowel sounds were non-existent, and her blue eyes stared blindly at a ceiling she could no longer see. The MD refused to terminate feedings, but I held them since there was no digestion taking place. The woman was turned and repositioned every 2 hours, and each time, she moaned and gurgled as her lungs slowly filled with fluid. I whispered my apologies as I did the very things to her she tried so hard to prevent. Nurses Relations Article

You are reading page 17 of The Patient I Failed

heart428

1 Post

i feel for you and also for the daughter.... it's never easy to let go... because at the back of your mind there is always that small voice of hope and the probability of what-if's... you wanted to respect the patient's wishes but to leave things as it was is difficult... watching someone you love die right before your eyes with the knowledge that you can't do anything... is one hard call... :'(

NightRN2011

2 Posts

Specializes in ICU, HH, CM, Transplant.

An amazing story, mahalo for sharing. This is a scenario we face far too often. No matter how often we say "If you love them, let them go on their terms", they don't listen. Even though I dislike the daughter's decision, when it's her time to go, I hope we follow her wishes. I agree, you didn't fail her, you gave the comfort and care she deserved in the given circumstances, but I understand your feeling the way you do.

nicolelamp

1 Post

That daughter is selfish and if she really loved her mother she would have not put her through that, that poor lady all she wanted to do is die in peace. I surely will pass this on.

Specializes in geriatric.

i am only a cna and i have to do the brunt work in my job but i have seen this happen in a nurseing home and i see people live for so long past when they wanted and working in a nurseing home i have seen people go from walking and talking to vegtabules and i know i would never want that for myself i have seen nurses do there job and folow there orders and this article was just amazing and just like my user name at most times all i can say when things like this hapen is i just work here i try my best to make a differince and i hope i do i just also hope that my loved ones know and love me enough to never put me throu anything like that oh gosh i am just tearing up

Krystalee

1 Post

So, so sad. :'( And to think of the similar and unheard stories like this one. Breaks your heart.

sidneyRN

1 Post

Where in the world does it say you can't be a DNR if you're healthy???? Anyone can be a DNR if they wish!!!! Or is this saying that because she was healthy there was no need for one at the time???

This is so sad....the family physician needs to re think his profession. He is the front line of defence.

Nursing has a firm committment to do no harm. I am so blessed that I work in an environment that I am not only able but expected to advocate for the patient and their wishes, to a level that includes refusing to follow through with a directive that inflicts harm. Bless you for not continuing the feeds.

Thanks for sharing what so many of us experience while working. Very well written.

floatnurse29

10 Posts

Specializes in Med-surg,icu,er,surgical floor,recovery.

So sad and tragic. Beutifully written. I'm utterly speechless as to what to say about the daughter.

sherrytzu

24 Posts

This is why I like the idea of being a Hospice Nurse. Patients are able to die with dignity and the way they want too.

TDub, MSN, EdD

227 Posts

Specializes in OB, critical care, hospice, farm/industr.

And this is why I love being a hospice nurse. Truly a privilege.

Specializes in E.R., LTC, Blood Banking,Management.

First of all, you didn't "Fail" your patient...you were following orders (although I get it) but secondly, WHAT STATE DO YOU PRACTICE IN? I have been a Nurse for 17 years and NEVER have I heart of having to "Qualify" for DNR status! I'm in Illinois, a 20 yr old can be a DNR!

That is VERY sad! but as you also know, ribs break when CPR is performed...I've even broke a few noses, when I couldn't get a good seal from the Ambu bag-

I believe in a "Good Death" I also think we need to educate families on "Quality" of life vs "Quantity"

I have a Sister that hasn't spoken to me since outr father died...He was in Multi system organ failure, and lungs were FULL of fluids...I asked the DOC for Morphine Sulfate for "Resp Distress" which thay gave to ease my Fathers suffering, he passed after a few doses, PEACEFULLY! As We Nurses know M.S. is a resp supressant, and can ease the transition (helps the family too, nobody wants to remember the final hours of with their loved one, DROWNING!) it's VERY taumatic!

We put horses, and dogs and cats down for FAR LESS!!! I'm not advocating euthinasesa, but when you KNOW that the person is NOT going to survive, lets give them comfort!!! and make the transition a smooth one!

I know this is controverseal, and I may even get some haters for this, but it's my opinion...

Peace,

Ed

Noel,RN

1 Post

I have long since retired from nursing but we used to have a little man whose family put him through @#%&! He was coded so many times, force fed through NG tubes, etc. His family rarely came to see him and they refused to let him go to a nursing home. So he would go home for a few days, then come back to the hospital to stay in ICU for 3-4 weeks. He was just a vegetable, couldn't talk much less walk or turn himself in bed. He had children who could have taken care of him but from the looks of him when he was brought back in every time, they didn't. We decided among ourselves that the family must have been after his monthly SS check which would have gone to a nursing home. I will never forget him.