Is professor homophobic or just tough? - page 3
by RISC601 3,700 Views | 25 Comments
I'm a gay male in nursing school and I haven't made a secret of it. At my age I'm too old to waste time and energy trying to hide it. I don't shove it in anyone's face, however I talk about my family just the same as all the... Read More
- 0May 21, '06 by DoogI think being a male in nursing school, regardless of sexuality, puts us in a unique position. Some instructors react differently depending on their personal experiences with men in the field. They either expect more or less from you due to your gender. This had it's advantages and disadvantages.
- 0May 30, '06 by anonymurseHi RISC601, I was asked in clinicals by a crusty old NP if she'd seen me before and I said, yup, I'm re-taking this course. She quietly took me aside and said "You know why you flunked, don't you? First, all nursing instructors are b*****s. And second, you're a male. Now, back in the old days, we didn't mind males, because if you were a male and a nurse, you were 'one of the girls,' if you know what I mean. But now when one of US sees one of YOU coming, we're thinking to ourselves--now that we're finally getting paid what we're worth, here YOU come to take it from US."
I mention this story because you can take comfort from her remark about 'one of the girls,' and you can feel you're being treated equally with other males in that attitude represented by the remark about 'here you come,' and lastly whatever attitudes you run into, you will remember that there are many different ways nurses are looking at you, and actually the majority will probably not have anything to do with maleness or orientation, just how well you do your job and how helpful you are to other nurses.
- 0Jun 14, '06 by DaFreak71More than likely, you will never know if the source of tension between you and your instructor is based on your sexual orientation or not. For your own peace of mind, I would actively try to dismiss your feeling that you are being discriminated against or treated differently unless or until you had some evidence.
I am not originally from the south, but I live here now. I have noticed many cultural differences. I am originally from the N.W., and I am an assertive woman. This does not go over very well with some of the instructors I have enountered. I also know that homosexuality is not something that the average southerner is comfortable with. This is heartbreaking to me because I can imagine how isolating it is to feel the need to hide your identity. Who you love and your lifestyle are integral parts of our being. To have to filter your language to hide your true self is a chore and leaves one feeling disenfranchised. I applaud your choice to be open with your classmates and instructors. I realize that some people feel that if you say you are gay, it's flaunting your sexuality and bringing up an issue that shouldn't be brought up, but perhaps they simply don't realize how difficult it would be to have to refer to their significant others in gender neutral terms, make up reasons why you don't have children, etc.
The truth is that probably most of your instructors disapprove of your sexual orientation but would never let on, there might be a few who don't have a problem with it at all, and there's even a slight chance that one of them is homosexual as well. But like I said at the start, you will probably never know since divulging their acceptance or disapproval of homosexuality could very well get them fired. So to save yourself from a great deal of inner turmoil and uncertainty, please do your level best to make it a non-issue. If you get funny looks or are snapped at, instead of telling yourself it's because you are gay, tell yourself they are having a bad day or just have icky personalities. Even if you directly asked one of them if they are treating you harshly because you are gay, they would not say yes. So this becomes an issue where you have to do what's in your best interest.
I wish you the very best!
- 0Jun 27, '06 by JohnBearPAI'm also an "out" gay male, and encountered both sides of the coin on this one. I had an instructor that made my life hell for one semester, holding me to a higher standard than the females or heterosexual males in that rotation, and you know what? It made me a better nurse. I learned to always be prepared for any obscure question she might ask me, knew that I would be the one asked harder questions than the others, and knew that I would recieve the more "difficult" pt's during that rotation. She picked apart my paperwork, looked over my shoulder as much as possible, called on me to do procedures that were difficult as hell, and generally made my life hell for three months. I'm not just feeling sorry for myself here, other students noticed this too and pointed it out to me. The important thing was,,,, I MADE IT, and it made me ONE HELL OF A GOOD NURSE!
Just grin and bear it dude, nursing school will be a distant memory soon, and you'll be out in the real world, where you'll have recourse in such situations. Also, don't sweat the ob/gyn. Mine was a blast, and I really learned alot!
- 0Jul 4, '06 by L.O.E.N.i think just being a guy sometimes set the bar higher, albiet unintentionally... I'm one of 2 men in a class of 40 women and I've just gotten used to being singled out for the hard stuff. I don't think the instructors do it purposely MOST of the time, we just stick out a bit. The other times happen because as of now I've got the highest GPA in the class, so they like to toss the worst of the worst at me.... but I love it! Bring it!!
The south (especially the southwest, where I'm from) isn't the friendliest place for gay people though... the bible belt is called that for a reason... and we've our share of fanatical christians still imposing biblical "law" to everyone around them. Personally, if I were gay, I'd probably keep it real low key, just in case... it sucks, but you've probably been down that road before.
The instructor would be seriously jeaprodizing their career if they openly discriminated against anyone though... that's a big can of worms to open. It's really your call.