I am so sorry that you are going through another loss so suddenly after the passing of your father. I can't even imagine the grief you must be feeling. I certainly imagine your heart and mind flit back and forth between all the stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance) and I don't doubt you will continue to feel and experience all of these emotions as you move towards final acceptance. Hopefully, your brother is already signed onto Hospice and as a family you have accepted Social Work, Spiritual Care, Bereavement Care, etc as the psychosocial aspect will be a very big component for all of you. Verbalizing your wishes, thoughts, and fears to your Hospice Nurse Case Manager will help to alleviate your concerns and put both your mind and the mind of your brother at ease. For instance, I have a patient with Lung Cancer who is not as fearful of actual death as he is of the dying process. He has expressed that he wishes to feel no pain and that when his time comes, he be kept as comfortable and comatose as possible until he passes. I will do my best to accomodate his wishes and have made our medical director aware of his concerns. We have discussed palliative sedation, but I don't feel that will be necessary. Additionally, he and his wife get regular visits from our bereavement care coordinator and spiritual care. His biggest ailment at this time is depression and anxiety, and we work through it together, as a team.
Try to enjoy the time you have with your brother, albeit, a potentially short amount of time. If possible, act as a care provider and be there as often as possible during his nursing visits so that your questions can be addressed and you can be taught different aspects of palliative care. This precious time at the end of life is so very special, and it can not be regained once it is lost. You will likely treasure the coming days, weeks, and months greatly. Do things with your brother he enjoys. Talk, reconnect...engrain the lines of his smile into your memory. Hold his hand and tell him you love him. Reminesce. Most of all, remember that your separation is temporary, his suffering will cease, and one day, you will be reunited. It is not "goodbye" but "until we meet again".