I'm not a Hospice Nurse, but unfortunately will need to have them again in my life. My Father passed away this spring and my younger brother had a visit with the local Hospice on Thursday of last week. Although I have been a nurse for 20 plus years, I had not lost someone "before their time" (in my opinion) die until this year. I have lost Grand Parents , Aunts and Uncles but all sort of finished with life at the time. My Brother was diagnosed with stage 4 Lung cancer coming up on three years ago, and has done much better than I expected. My Dad was diagnosed earlier this spring with the same but didn't do as well. He died in April. Last week a couple of my Brothers Dr's said he had from 2 weeks to 2 months left. I have tried to prepare myself for the inevitable but don't know how it will really be. Was able to be present for Dad, but am not sure I did everything I could. It took me a while to sort of get aggressive with the nurses to ensure an absence of suffering. Looking back, I think I should have acted sooner to prevent some obvious (now) suffering for my Father. I really don't want to do this again, but I don't have a choice. Twice in a year is asking a bit much, isn't it???????
I have been able to spend some extra time with my Mother this summer. Was able to get a Travel Assignment close to home and have been spending every weekend at home with Mom. Today I helped my brother move 6 ton of Gravel in a patio he wants to finish before he dies. He let me drive the truck and run the tractor, so I know he is not feeling well and is sort of winding down. I will be OK, I think. I am really worried about Mom and my youngest Brother, they are "lay" people and don't really understand some of the medical issues. Mom was there for Dad, but has commented on how hard it's going to be with my other brother. It's one of the reasons that Dad seemed to go so quickly. He didn't want a son to go before him. When I started this I thought there would be a question at the end, but right now there doesn't seem to be one. If you have a comment, I will appreciate it, and maybe it will elicit an edit with a question. If not it does feel better letting some of this out.