Eating When You Are Not Hungry

I, too, have a problem with over-eating. It doesn't have so much to do with being self-depreciative, but rather from lack of self-control.

I have an addictive personality. When I say that, it's really an excuse for "I over eat because food tastes good." A lot of my habits and my comforts are engraved with food. If I come back from a long weekend out and I'm exhaused, feeling like I've accomplished something, I'll get it in my head that nothing sounds better than a delicious meal topped off with a lot of R&R time. Unfortunately I have a lot of these weekends that actually carry into the weekdays. The same goes for if the weekend sucks and I just want to relax -- I'll tell myself that I deserve this delicious huge meal and that it'll comfort me. I don't have the willpower to tell myself no.

Another problem I have is the this is the last time, I swear. I always tell myself that after this last binge I'm going to calm down and start working out and eating healthier. Of course tomorrow never comes and I get lazy. I don't have the willpower to make myself do these things.

The biggest problem is myself and lack of self-discipline. I am working on this.

Currently, I'm about 90-100 pounds overweight, but I don't look like it. I look maybe 50-60 pounds but I know the true reality of the situation. I tell people how much I weigh (300 lbs.) and the look of awe on their face is hilarious. They say that I look closer to 230 or 240. This may be because I did a lot of weight lifting not too long ago and instead of losing weight, I was gaining weight because as I was working out, I would overeat even more, telling myself that I could afford it because I was working out. Bad news.

Another issue I've noticed is that I'll binge for a week before I'm going to start a diet, telling myself that I'm going to earn it later anyways. What I've done lately to combat this goes as follows:

I planned a two week diet, two weeks in advance. EXTREME CALORY REDUCTION. For the two weeks leading up to the diet, I would not let myself binge at all. I was moderating my portions and eating less than usual, preparing myself for the diet. To me, this is helping to strengthen my willpower and make me stronger for when I'm off the diet, so that I may develop healthier eating habits both before and after the diet. I was successful and now I've made it to the diet portion.

Now that I'm on the diet, I've planned to start working out, but I've been easy on myself with that, telling myself that there's no need to rush into working out and that sticking to the diet is my priority. So far, it's been DIFFICULT, but I've done it. The trouble is, while I'm on this diet, my family has been eating regular food, buying all kinds of junk food and the smell, sight, and presence just make me want to DIE. It's almost intolerable at times, but again, I let myself know that it's all about willpower. How will breaking my diet benefit me in the long run? It won't. I keep telling myself that food is always going to be there and I've already enjoyed it for long enough, it's time to break the habit and beat my weight.

That's where I am right now and I know that was a ten page rant... sorry folks, but I will say that I feel 200% better now just typing all this out.

Thanks for listening.