Hello fellow nurses I really need to discuss something with you. I need your help, support, advice please. I am a new grad RN, who just started working in an LTC 2 weeks ago, just started my 3rd week. During the interview I was told it was for 2 days a week while I was training, which as I told them that suited me fine as I was a single mum and still adjusting to a new situation and area. The place I work at has 160 residents, that is in low care, high care and a dementia unit. I did a total of 2 buddy shifts in high care (day shift), I was on a 3rd buddy shift in low care when the boss came and asked me to go home and get some sleep and come back and PLEASE HELP HER OUT and do night shift in the high care unit. I would be the only RN on in the whole facility but other than give DD's to low care with an AIN (CNA) there would be no other medication pass other than early morning. That shift went well, I was nervous but it was fine. Ofcourse there were things I could not do like prepare for the Dr's rounds etc as I had not been trained in that... oncomming nurse wasn't happy about that but oh well, I got through a shift on my own.
4th shift I'm starting what would be my 3rd buddy shift this time on the Dementia unit when a call comes through and I'm once again sent up to high care to fill in for the RN going home because they're sick. It is 2 hours into the shift already (shift: 2 to 10pm). I had to give meds to 50 residents at 5 and then again at 8 (although probably around 40 residents had meds at 8)... 4.30 I had accu checks and insulin and at 8 I had more accu checks and lantis to give. OK so by the time I got hand over, counted the DD's it was 4.30 and I did the insulins and accuchecks. I then started the med pass... It was so hard, as I didn't know the residents, I was terrified of making a med error. Our medications are pre packaged but some aren't and also they might need crushing and mixing, being high care some residents need a lot of prompting and kind support to take their meds. Or they won't open their eyes for drops etc... I took FOREVER. 3 hours to be exact.
I then had a quick coffee before I fainted, I took the insulin book into the staffroom with me so I could work out who needed lantis and accuchecks done at 8. Then went and did those and started the 8 oclock meds probably around 8.30. By the time the night shift RN came on I still had 10 residents that I hadn't given meds too, a resident who was on the EMS but I couldn't find her medication anywhere. I was exhausted, felt like bursting into tears and felt totally useless. I handed it all over to the RN and she was mad, she went on and on about how BAD that was, yeah I know, I know its bad. I got teary, as much as I tried to hold it in, I didn't bawl, but it hurt. I never wanted to be a bad nurse, and I felt like such a failure. I am crying now just thinking about it. I should mention that during this shift my boss rang me from her home twice, and the EN (LVN) from the low care called me to authorise some PRN's for her and I let them both know what was going on. That I was running behind and then latter that I was not going to finish. They both said ok, just hand it over.
Anyway, the next day I rang my boss and told her , although she already knew and was going to talk to me about it on my next shift. I told her I wanted to come in and speak to her about it. I packed up my uniform, my ID, and a book she lent me on aged care. I walked with just the book into her office and she said that she had given me that, I told her that I wasn't going to stay... so she got me a coffee and we discussed it. She told me it would take a while before I'd settle, 3 months at least. We talked about why it happened, I felt it was because I didn't know the residents, their likes and dislikes. I didn't know the routine, and I was thrown in unprepared. She agreed and she asked me to stay, so I did. THEN she gave me a buddy shift in the dementia unit (would be my proper 3rd one as the others got cut short), 2 days off, then 6 shifts in a row. 2 of them night shifts in the dementia ward, where once again I have no clue of that routine. I havn't been buddied there on that shift and have really only had 3 buddy shifts in the entire time. Then during the buddy shift my boss came to the office and asked if I would work one of my days off, I said no and she walked out in a hurry and slammed the door The EN (LVN) and I just looked at each other shocked.
So I'm home from that shift now, wondering if I should leave. I'm so dissapointed, I don't want my kids to see me be a quitter, and I hate being broke (poor), but I think they are just looking for anyone with a heartbeat and a licence to work shifts and at least have one RN on the facility. I am really upset!!! I have thought about leaving, I have thought about calling her and saying 'look, can I have a buddy shift before I do a night shift on my own in that unit'... because I was told by her 'oh its easy, I have carers that do that shift'.. But the carers know the routine, they know the residents, which ones are a high fall risk. I don't know which residents I can change myself at night or which ones to call someone from another unit in to help me with. I just don't get this. I think they need at least 2 people on that dementia ward (25 residents) during the nightshift, not one on their own.
I know this is probably a HUGE post, I hope someone managed to read it and can give me some direction.
The EN (LVN) and I just looked at each other shocked.