Survivors' guilt -- losing classmates

Rena RN 2003, RN · Mar 26, 2003

nope, you're not alone. we just lost 7 due to a horrendous pharmacology exam and it's only 9 weeks of school before graduation. it was very hard to be happy for one's self for passing while watching the world of others fall apart because they "failed." and as much as i would love to continue relationships with some of the ones i leave behind, the reality is that i probably won't. simply because i have moved forward. nursing school is tough. i don't have time to worry about anyone other than myself at this moment. sad but true.

memphispanda, RN · Mar 26, 2003

We have lost something like 60 from my first nursing class. There are maybe 12 left that I started with. I barely have time to call my mom, much less the friends that have had to drop. It's sad. I did run into one of them in the grocery store the other day. But honestly, we are so busy and it's so hard, that you don't have time to dwell on it.

delirium · Mar 26, 2003

Why should you feel guilty for succeeding? This confuses me.

We've lost a lot of students in our program, and I didn't feel guilty about it. I was sorry for them, and it was awkward seeing one of them in clinicals (she is a unit secretary on the floor we're doing clinicals on), but their success or failure is wholly their responsibility.

NurseWeasel · Mar 26, 2003

*cheers* Go, Delirium! I second that.

It's sad to leave friends behind, but you've got to look out for #1.

KimRN03 · Mar 30, 2003

I have lost several friends along the way because they just didn't have the grades to move on. I have not been able to keep in touch with them. I have tried, but they seem to shy away and be ashamed. If I had been left behind I guess I would always be a little jealous of not moving on, so I understand.

Vsummer1 · Mar 30, 2003

Since I transferred in, and this is only 2nd semester, I really didn't "know" those that failed last semester that well. Of the two that I spoke with that failed 1st semester, I have seen both of them. They are happy for me, and they are trying again which makes ME happy for them as well.

At first it did bother me, but I am so busy trying to pass myself that I can't dwell too much on it. It is too scary to watch them drop like flies...

CountrifiedRN · Mar 30, 2003

We've lost a lot of people since the beginning of the program, and I felt bad for some of them, especially the ones who had borderline grades. One person who dropped almost a year ago still calls me to see how the I'm doing. We were starting to become good friends when she dropped, and I missed having her in class. Now it is becoming awkward to talk to her, but mostly because we don't have that much in common anymore.

Some of the people who dropped are now in the LPN program and I see them between classes at school, but since they are happy and doing well in their program, it's not awkward, and I'm glad that they were able to find another route to get to their goal.

NurseDixie · Mar 30, 2003

I failed one semester(hubby had his 2nd CABG) and then had to withdraw one semester. When I first got back in, some of my former classmates acted like they thought I'd be embarrassed about what happened, but I wasn't, I was happy to have the opportunity to be able to return. I am doing much better this time around. I should have graduated last May, but I will graduate this coming December. I hope no one felt 'bad' for me.

NurseRachy · Mar 30, 2003

Yeah i have lost heaps of friends from uni. I am doing a double degree and many found it too heavy going. Some of them are just doing straight nursing now, but the 20+ others are floating around doing nothing much at the moment. Yeah it is very hard to keep in touch with heaps of people but it's a priority of mine so I do. Heaps of quick visits and phone calls, sms's, emails, letters GOOD luck - try your best to keep in touch with your friends - they are worth it!

emily_mom · Mar 30, 2003

Originally posted by delirium
Why should you feel guilty for succeeding? This confuses me.

We've lost a lot of students in our program, and I didn't feel guilty about it. I was sorry for them, and it was awkward seeing one of them in clinicals (she is a unit secretary on the floor we're doing clinicals on), but their success or failure is wholly their responsibility.

Double ditto. My husband said he is more proud of me knowing that I am doing well when I tell him of all the people that have failed. I think he finally realized how tough school is. Shoot....only 36 days left, too. :chuckle

delirium · Mar 31, 2003

Originally posted by emily_mom
Shoot....only 36 days left, too. :chuckle

36 actual school days, or 36 calendar days?

I have 52 calendar days... 6 weeks left, and then graduation week.