thanks for giving me that insight. as you can tell by my post, i have not taken the time (who has any) to read indepth other postings on this site. i needed the solace that i have found here before after a horrid experience last night. i believe all things happen for a reason and yes, i made a very stupid mistake as a new student nurse in a new experience but the teacher's response was horribly abusive and unprofessional. she has already been criticized by staff nurses for not preparing us. she has refused to demonstrate, to teach us, but rather just expects us to learn solely by reading. we read, of course, hundreds of pages each week... much time is wasted in class that could be used to mold us into great nurses of confidence.
she seems to need the adrenaline rush of hateful anger using her power with demonic rath. i don't use that phrasing lightly, i do it as an intelligent observer. personally, i believe she is insane... i also believe she has been emotionally abused (parents, doctors, other nurses, patients?) therefore is now teaching and has that need to hurt and destroy others ingrained with a resulting severe personality disorder. she has received countless bad reviews by past students. i was warned that she was crazy. the reviews to the administrators have had no impact. they don't care, it's just about the shortage of teachers and finances.
she should not be an instructor as i doubt at this point that i will actually ever work as a nurse. i will complete the years ahead of me, but i have no desire to ever be subjected to abuse. i don't need it, i'm young, and i'm not money driven (luckily).
therefore, i have rechanneled my future goals into areas with known higher levels of behavior among personnel and the world of nursing is losing one incredible person (top student even on previous clinicals) who has proven herself in other arenas and gone to the top in every employment situation.
but first, i will be taking political action because i am an action person and do not believe that because nursing students are abused by instructors that this behavior should continue or that it should just be ignored to "survive" or continue to allow it. thanks for your response and clueing me in!