Hi all. I haven't been around because I have been very sick. It has been almost 2 months of being really sick a lot and not knowing what was causing it. I went through lots of tests that so far have all come back negative. My doctor has diagnosed what I had as irritable bowel syndrome caused by anxiety. I have other anxieties such as my husband being at sea, my son being a teenager with Tourette's syndrome, etc. One of the biggest stresses lately has been my Anatomy class. Since I have been sick, the amount of time I could study has been drastically reduced. Fortunately, I have still done well on my tests, "a's" on my 2 skeleton/ joint tests and another on my recent muscle test. My point here isn't to brag, but to point out that I would have done well without worrying about my grades and would have in fact had more time to study since I wouldn't have made myself so sick. I have been doing a lot of thinking and realize that when people say grades aren't the most important thing, they are really right. There is a quote from a great movie called "With Honors" that goes "Winners forget they are in a race, they just love to run." What that means to me is that I shouldn't forcus on becoming a nurse right now. I shouldn't even worry about getting into nursing school or what my grades will be at the end of the semester. I am going to start to focus on enjoying learning about what I am interested in and concentrate on the journey instead of the destination. I will still work hard and study, but I am not going to let myself get so worried about the grades. I am sharing this with you because I have been sicker than I have ever been and wouldn't want anyone else to go through the same thing. I am now taking a very mild anti-anxiety medicine and it is already helping quite a bit. I just thought this might get some of you who may be feeling very stressed by school and other things in their lives to catch it before you get sick too. Bye for now, Kimberly
Mar 28, '02
I am sorry you've been so sick, I was wondering what had happened to you.
I thank you for sharing with us the hazards about worrying and sressing too much and the damage it can cause. I'm sorry that you had to go through this. I am also one of those "destination" people, instead of enjoying the trip to get there.
Thank you...your words struck an important note today.
God bless you, I hope you feel better, it sounds like you're on the road to recovery already.
Mar 28, '02
You take care of yourself. A little Calif sunshine !!
People always ask me why I'm still in school, shouldn't I be finished by now? No, I'm enjoying the journey but there are times when I want it to end, those stressful times.
You are getting the help that you need to get back on track, you can do it !!!
Take Care and enjoy the sunshine!
Mar 29, '02
Thank you Kimberly, I think a lot of people in general need to be reminded to stop and smell the roses. We get our selves so worked up over something that isn't even ours yet and fail to see what we have right now. Life is too short. I see too many people struggling coutiniously for that something and never appreciating today.
Wwe need to keep in mind struggling for a goal is meaningless if you missed today because you could be dead tomorrow.
Mar 29, '02
I am glad that my post connected with a few people. Like I said, I wrote about it to hopefully help prevent any of you all from getting sick like I did. I just never knew how physically sick a person could get from stress and anxiety. Anyways, thanks for responding.- Kimberly
Mar 29, '02
I suffered from severe anxiety (w/your same symptoms and more) including hospitalization after my son died of SIDS and had to learn to enjoy life again. That included letting go of my self-imposed high expectations for school. I kept failing out 10years ago because of test anxiety. The profs knew I knew the info, but couldn't understand why I would fail tests.
Now, I've relaxed and returned. I let it fall in the hands of fate and have simply gone with the enjoyment of learning part that you spoke of. I'm now a 4.0 student, in the 2 top honor societies in school and one of only 20 students in the entire university hand-chosen by the president for her elite leadership fellowship.
I'm proof of those statements that you heard. I'm not trying to brag at all, but I wanted to point out the extreme change that can happen....I've even gone through a divorce in this period of time...
You have so much to deal with right now. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is find a footing. Almost like you have to let yourself sink all the way to the bottom to feel that there actually is ground there...a place to firmly plant both feet, clear your head and start swimming to the top again on your own terms. It's sad, it's hard, but in the end it is so worth it. Just think, you have the worst to compare everything else to. Nothing else is that bad. (My mantra: "It's ok. Worse things have happened")
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