Does you "support group" support you?

[bowkerj]

This is sort of a venting/asking for advice post... Has this happened to anyone, how did you handle it?

I recently found out I got accepted to a BSN program I have worked my butt of to get into for 3 years. I live alone, work and have supported myself for the past 10 years. When I found out I got accepted to nursing school I was beside myself with joy, I called and emailed everyone I knew with the exciting news. I have one particular friend that I have known since high school. We have made very different life choices, she got married right out of high school, stayed in the same small town and has three beautiful boys. I moved to the city and turned into metropolis girl. When I sent out the email that I got into school, she was the ONLY person who did not respond... nothing.... not even a peep. No Congratulations... nothing. I thought perhaps she didn't actually get the email. The following weekend I was in town visiting she and a couple of other girlfriends from high school. She had invited us to come see her new house. I sort of announced to the girls that I got in and they were excited and happy, except my one friend. I said, "did you get my email?" And she said, "yes." And that was it. THAT WAS IT. Nothing. She never once congratulated me or spoke of it again. I guess it is upsetting simply due to the fact that I have always told her supportive things like how cute her boys are, how much I love her new home, envited her to come up for a day of shopping without the kids, etc. And all I get for my accomplishment is silence??

Am I being to harsh or expecting too much here? I feel she and I have made very different life choices but I have always tried to be supportive... So where's MY support?

J. BSN 2008!

[suzi_h]

I suppose I am on the other end. I am the one that got married and had kids. The funny thing is, I felt like I was the one that became the adult. My friend was pre-med and when she graduated from a great private school, she never pursued her MD. I was furious with her. Not for not finishing, but for acting like the world owed her something b/c she got a degree...

That's kind of off topic. I am sure, b/c I have felt this way, that she feels like she's let herself down and is having a hard time with your excitemnent. I don't think your expecting too much. I have learned in my life that your life long friend may not neccessarily be your "best" friend. You may end up closer to someone you meet in school then you've ever been with this girl. Jealousy is a terrible thing. She probably looks at your life and is envious of your freedom. Since I have been through this with a friend before, I would call her out on it and ask her why she didn't at least acknowledge your e-mail. Maybe she's waiting for the opportunity to spill her heart. Her reaction will guide you on whether you should continue your friendship with her. Who knows, in a few years time, you may just find your way back to one another. Or the both of you can completely ignore the fact that you are a nursing student and she is a mom and just carry on as normal.

I'd ask her why she didn't respond though.

Suzi