Can someone please read over my nursing entrance essay and give feed back?? please?

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    Being a nurse means more than just someone who cares for the sick but someone who holds the passion to do it. Working in the medical field has proven to be more of a reward than a task. It has enabled me with valuable skills and relationships. It is a challenging task nevertheless, but itís an attainable goal with set determination. The need is there and I believe to have the purpose to supply that need. Attaining a BSN will put me in a competitive position and enable me to provide the exceptional care needed.
    I have been a medical assistant for nine years, in those nine years I have worked with geriatric, pediatric and gynecology patients. Iíve really enjoyed every aspect of the variety of patients that I have encountered; Iíve seen the need for true holistic and individual care. Iíve held many sweet relationships with patients throughout the years and keep those very close to heart. In working in these different departments I came to the realization that I wanted that patient relationship even more so, I wanted to make a difference; I decided to become a nurse. It has been a long journey to get to this essay even but all the worthwhile I believe.
    I am a single mother of three very handsome young boys. I hope to set an example for them that they can achieve whatever goal they set in their life no matter what life throws at them. It has been a difficult road and at times even discouraging but I believe to be a determined person who has dreams and goals to become all that I can while making a difference. I also want to be able to offer my children a stable future and life; with the demand and need for Nurses, I believe I can accomplish that. Desiring to be a nurse has been a great aspiration of mine, as I get closer, I am very proud of what I have accomplished thus far and look forward to whatís in store, working for a BSN is only the beginning as this has become a passion for me.
    I love to help and I love the gratitude on peopleís faces when you have been able to assist them in some way. That is my drive, which is what makes it so valuable. Nurses hold a huge responsibility and commitment towards patients who are in need of comfort, of relief and care. I want to offer not just the patient but the people, and community what they are in need of when they rush into an emergency room; when they deliver their first child; when they are living their last days; when their loved one is in need of help; I want to be there to offer them the comfort they deserve to the fullest. Being fluent in Spanish has been a great advantage in the field as I have been able to help/reach those whom often have no voice because of the language barrier. I have often been told I would make a great nurse; I am compassionate, welcoming, caring and I strive to learn all that I can to provide that support.
    As I researched schools that offered a nursing program, I came across St. Xavier. St. Xavier offers a competitive program with skillful and experienced staff that can sharpen any already attained skills and better prepare me for whatís ahead. I needed something that brought compassionate healing, caring and teaching as Jesus demonstrated in his word with preparation to live life at its fullest professionally and spiritually; St Xavier demonstrates a mission to serve the community in a faith based approach. I believe St Xavier provides an excellent academic atmosphere with smaller class sizes, a dynamic library study area and instilled values for life that will enable me to accomplish my life-long goals. I have several friends that received their BSN from St. Xavier and now hold great competitive and qualified jobs; I have only heard the best from them in regards to their time at St. Xavier.
    As a nursing student I believe to have the self-discipline and dedication that would be needed to successfully and efficiently accomplish such a task. As a nurse, I believe to have the commitment to provide exceptional care with a loving, compassionate spirit in a profession that offers new opportunities each day. St. Xavier and I, I believe share that same passion and God-given responsibility to provide that outstanding common good to a community that is in need of a healing hand.

    Thank you
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