I got into nursing because I (naievely?) believed I would be helping people - and they'd apreciate it.
Instead, as a CNA for 3 years in a SNF, hospital adult/teen/pediatric psyche, and acute level oncology unit...and now an RN in a SNF for 6 months I am haunted by the frequency of the thought, "I hate my patients."
Could it be possible that I am jaded already?
My patients are the whiniest bunch of rude, ungrateful, selfish, demented people I've ever met! They fake chest pain to get out of therapy (I overheard one laughing to another about how this is "the best way to get out of PT."), they keep home medications in their drawer and self-medicate without telling the nurses, they expect me to come at their beck and call, always have a smile on my face, and be sympathetic and compassionate 24/7!
I often ask myself how I can feel this way towards people who cannot help the fact they have dementia or other cognitive issues which cause them to "finger paint" with their feces on the wall of their room, ask me the same question 10 times per hour, never say thank you or please, and always express distaste that I didn't make it to their room within 2 minutes of their request. Not to mention the fact that they do so much annoying sh*t like pouring their pills into their hand from the cup only to spill them on the floor and bedsheets, taking forever and a day to swallow one pill (again, if they can't help this why does it frustrate me so?), call me in to their room to tell me their toe hurts when they are admitted for pneumonia, CHF, or a hip fractrure.
Is it wrong to be frustrated and angered by these people? Does that indicate that I am in the wrong field? Am I not the compassionate person I thought I was?
I'm so frustrated because I have worked so hard to get where I am, but I feel like I should be 100% compassionate 100% of the time. IS that even possible?
I had no idea how annoying patients could be, NO IDEA!
