I am a new grad RN/BSN and I took a job in the stem cell transplant unit at a university hospital. It's extremely intense and the patients are very complex. I have felt over my head since Day 1, but thought that was normal. I got called in by my manager yesterday and she said she was concerned because I'd been making mistakes. One was just unexcusable- hung the right medication but for the wrong patient. No bad outcomes, but it could have been bad. The others were mixing up a label on a tube of blood, and sending a patient down to the OR in his own clothes instead of stripped down- not exactly excusable but less huge in my mind. I've just been so overwhelmed, and it seems like if only I could get through the day without my patients spiking fevers/ having blood transfusion reactions/ starting to have sudden and intractable pain I could organize everything, but that never happens.
I'm supposed to meet with her tomorrow to make up a plan, but honestly I'm terrified. I did so well in school and now I'm just slipping. I don't know what happens to me if I can't make the grade. What unit would want me after I've proved myself incompetent on this one? I feel like I'm getting to the point where I can never be a nurse again, never get a job again, and I've only been out of school for four months. I'm terrified- I'm in a lot of debt that I'm trying to pay off, and what's more I feel like I put all this time and money and passion into a career that I really want but I can't do.
Please help. Has anyone else run into this? Does anyone else know how I could ever get another job if I fail at this one? It's my day off and I just can't stop crying...
