Am I doing the right thing? New nurse getting butt kicked

Nurses New Nurse

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I am a new male RN, BSN. I graduated in August of '12 and started at my job on a neurology/med-surg unit. I never really wanted to do med-surg, but many nurses told me that it is a great place to start because you can hone your time management skills, prioritization, and whatnot. Where do I ultimately want to end up? I have no clue. I don't know what the end game is.

Anyway, as many new nurses have stated on this forum, I am truly miserable. I work nights because the pace is generally slower than days (our floor is extremely busy), and I care for between four to five patients (less than other med-surg floors in other hospitals in our city, but often higher acuity than what they see, I'm told).

I just feel constantly behind. It takes me forever to chart, to see all of my patients, and give a comprehensive report to day shift. I feel sick on the drive to work, and suffer 'GI distress' once there. At work I feel constantly on edge and snap at co-workers (definitely not a good thing). I just feel like I should be better at this job than I am. I feel like I should be more confident and comfortable. I know I should be grateful to even have this job, but I truly resent it. Am I expecting to much at this point? Is year one of nursing truly just this gauntlet of misery? (Sorry for getting emo there!)

I opted for med-surg post graduation. Was this a wise choice? Are there other areas in which a newer grad could also do well in? What are they? I have never left a job in less than one year of service, but this one has gotten me thinking that perhaps I should.

Ultimately, even if no one responds to this post, I'm happy that this forum exists so I can at least vent.

Thanks!

New grad here. No major words of wisdom, just commiseration. I graduated in May '12 and started working in July '12 on a step down unit in a small community hospital. I cry often. I obsess about whether I am doing a good job or whether I suck and everyone is afraid to tell me that I have picked the wrong field. I wake up in the middle of the night and think about my patients. I obsess about whether I have failed them in some way. I often feel like I am masquerading as a real nurse, that somehow I will be "found out" that I really don't know what the hell I am doing. People assure me I am doing fine and that the first year is like this, but I can't help but stress out constantly about everything. I am very encouraged by the many responders who said something "clicked" for them. I personally cannot wait for this "click." This job is definitely not for the faint of heart, that is for sure.

Specializes in Neuro, Med-surg..

There is one last thing that I wanted to bring up regarding this topic: I get nervous as all get out prior to and during a shift. I used to think I hid it well, but I must inadvertently show it because others have commented on it to me. Before my shift, I sort of dream about being called off. During my shift, I'm always on edge. I'm waiting for something bad to happen with a patient, out I'm waiting to see if the lead will give me an add on or transfer patient (which might throw off my night). I know that both of these are possibilities in this job, but I would like to stop anticipating it with fear. I do have an anxiety disorder that I'm being treated for (oddly, just about every nurse I work with has one too) but it's all too no avail. Will these sensations of being on edge dissipate with time as well? When I started as a care tech two years ago,I was on edge but it got much better with time. I'm hoping working as an RN will be the same way (sooner rather than later, preferably).

You are not alone in your feelings....I graduated in May '12 and started working July '12 also. I COMPLETELY relate to your post. However, I do recognize the growth in my abilities and knowledge, no matter how minor. This has given me hope and inspired more confidence within myself. It will not happen over night, but because we care enough to persevere and keep trying, we WILL get there!

Specializes in Neuro, Med-surg..

Thanks for your reply, Cherry. I just got off of a very easy shift and as about to sleep for a bit before going back tonight. I also feel as as though I am slowly getting better and more proficient as nurse, but again slowly is the operative word :)

It bothers me that I get so nervous prior to and during work, but I guess that melts away with time..

I think it's because of sooooo much stress. We have soo much responsibility. I used to get crazy anxiety...still do a little bit. I've been thinking of switching to midnights because the night before work, I can't fall asleep! Ugh. One thing that has helped me....I go and workout a few times before my shift. I run on the treadmill as fast as I can (like for 30 min) and then come home and do relaxing yoga. It has helped a lot. Do you ever imagine what types of pts you'll get? Lol. Ugh. Like worrying about it will do anything. Lol. How are midnights with this type of anxiety? Oh and I'm only a tech right now...I'm in nursing school :)

And I'm sorry you get so nervous. :( You getting nervous before work means you don't if ever make mistakes...am I right? I think that's why I worry so dang much.

Specializes in Neuro, Med-surg..

Haha, yes I do imagine the types of patients I'll have. And it doesn't help :-) I've learned that much anxiety stems from looking too far into the future and anticipating the worst case scenario. I try to not indulge these thoughts, but it's tough

Lol. Well then we are in the same boat. Hehe. The joys of stress. Ugh :)

I have an anxiety disorder as well and i find that medicine is worthless i also have a heart problem which makes my heart race i worry to end with patients. I had to leave work before bc walking into work ive had panick attacks and had to cut bsck on hours to help me as well. All i learned to do to help me was walk into work say i can do this be all smiles and just tell urself that you can do it and nothing bad is gonna happen cuz i know whats up!!! Hey it helps

Specializes in Neuro, Med-surg..

Yep, exposure is one of the best things for anxiety. So, again, I guess that it is all a matter of time. Maybe I should learn to be more patient :-)

I have the same problem. :( I've been using this herbal supplement called Bach Rescue Remedy. It sounds kinda crazy how its administered..under the tongue...but it has helped me relax. You can buy it at local drug stores. :)

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