long winter of ER nights

[MassED]

I haven't been on Allnurses in some time. Winter has been long, tedious, but filled with my new found love for snowboarding. In my hiatus from Allnurses, I have learned so much about my ER nights. Let me first say that I love my coworkers as much as one can love others you are with during 12 hours (those highs and lows). I have come to love those coworkers despite their idiosyncrasies. I have learned to value their skill and rely on them at some point. We have many levels of nurses and physicians and I find it takes the patience of Job to sometimes deal with these differences (new vs. experienced). I find that I can be quite impatient (only displayed inwardly, resulting in some serious knots in my muscles!) and have an unreasonable expectation of skill when I feel that it is not only necessary, but required in our job. Every day I learn of something new, which is just awesome.

Just recently a dear friend and coworker lost their job. It has made me realize the fragile nature of our ER nursing jobs and how we really are on the line each time we clock in. We are held to impossibly high standards that have very little room for error. I think it is purposeful and management decides to take a stance against a certain person and will use whatever they can to slowly decimate that person. I am so sad for this person. We are fallible. We all make mistakes, but it's our ability to own up to them, take responsibility and learn from them that separates us from other nurses. It is sad when this profession (of all professions) is scrutinized so harshly.

I just have a hard time knowing that each of us could be on the chopping block each time we go to work. We are often in very unpredictable situations where we make the best decisions that we can at that moment. It's very difficult for others to judge unless you are in that moment. My heart is heavy for this person.

I will say, though, as I reflect about the events, I know that in my practice, I will think about this person and it will have changed me for the better. It's unfortunate that we learn from others' mistakes.

[muesli]

As a new ED nurse, though not a new nurse, I feel the stress of having to meet extremely high standards under a lot of pressure. Recently I received a warning for not recording restraints on the paper flowsheet, but online the way the med surg floors do, because I scoured the entire ED, every pod and paper cabinet (meanwhile delaying care for all of my patients), but was unable to obtain this flowsheet. I spoke to my charge RN, supervisor, and checked the psych department at the time and was told that we were just out. Even though I had an online order and documentation, and didn't have the resources to do my job up to ED standards, it still counted against me. It's tiring to feel some nights that you work so hard and feel like you're giving so much of yourself to the job, only to receive negative feedback and to have a constant, slow simmering fear of making a mistake, losing your job or your license.