Did I miss my calling?

[gotaluvtheER]

I am beginning to think I went in to the wrong profession.

I have wanted to be a nurse since I was knee-high. And I'm a fairly new one, only for a couple of years. But I feel like I have lost my compassion. I've seen the same people with the same complaints over and over so many times that now I hardly believe anything I'm told.

I hate that I look forward to the "bad" patients just so I may be able to use nursing skills other than IM injections of Demerol/Phenergan. I hate that I am so quick to dismiss someone c/o of pain as "drug seeking behavior." I hate that I am so quick to get angry with parents not giving Tylenol. Isn't part of my job to educate? Basically, I do not like what the ER has made me. Don't get me wrong, when I started, right out of nursing school, I loved the ER. And when I think about where else I would like to work, I don't want ICU, m/s, pcu, ob, or anywhere else. I do have nights where I go home and know that I was part of a team that saved a life. And that is what keeps me coming back for more. Adrenaline junkie I guess!

So here's my question. Does this mean that nursing isn't for me? I went in to nursing thinking I was gonna change the world, (naive I know, but one's gotta dream). And I LOVE the feeling after resuscitating somebody, or even taking care of an sweet elderly pt for an entire shift until we have a room to admit them to. It's just nice to feel like you made somewhat of a difference or just to be appreciated every now and then. I knew in school that nursing was a thankless job, but I NEVER knew it to be this bad. I thought this is what God called me to do, but maybe I was wrong.

Please don't think I'm am some mean person. I have (or did have) one of the biggest hearts of anybody. I cry over anything. I like that about myself, and don't want it to change. Is this just something that goes along with the job? Any advice on how to change it? Does it get better as the years go on? Is this just the "honeymoon is over phase" they teach in school? Thanks for listening.

[GirlArcher]

I have been in your shoes....I have thought those thoughts.....why didn't the mom give her baby tylenol? Why is this patient back again this month for Demerol? Why did the dad feed his daughter pizza if she was vomiting all day?

And then I realized that maybe they REALLY don't know.....I look at it as a chance to educate my patients and their families, something we as RN's are supposed to do but with the patient load the way it is now, rarely get to anymore. Maybe the mom was a new mom and wasn't sure of the dose....or the patient seeking Demerol has chronic pain that flares up and doesn't know any other pain relief methods....or the dad didn't understand that he needed to let his daughter's stomach rest. It's our chance to make a difference, even if it doesn't seem like we are.

I work as a Traveler in ER, Med/Surg, Peds, Nursery, and Post-partum...and I can honestly say the ER is my favorite because of the education opportunities.

Hope this helped.

[gotaluvtheER]

Wow! Thanks for all the replies! You guys give great advice! It really helps a lot to know there is a place with people that have been there, done that, and stuck with it. Deep down, I guess I knew the ER was the only place for me. Just needed a little reassurance! You guys are great!!! Thanks again.