This is probably a bad day for me to be answering this question!
So I've been training in a subacute rehab/LTC facility for about a week. I'm not certified but will be attending a training program in a couple months. Because I'm not certified my orientation is longer than others and I've been following different CNAs around to get a feel for the scope of the job. Well, up until today--my first day with my own assignment--I've been pretty happy go lucky, even considering getting back into this nursing thing again. I loved interacting with the patients and keeping busy and generally feeling useful and important. Well, today I felt totally inept and slooooowwww. Grrrrr.... I worked on the rehab floor and desperately tried to get everyone up and at 'em for breakfast but I swear it took me hours and hours to get everyone ready. The patients (9 of them) all knew me and I can tell you most of them were friendlier when I was just the new girl following the experienced ones around. When I had to take care of them it was a different story. I felt like people were getting annoyed with me, even some of my coworkers who were friendly before but stepped in to cover my ass more times than I probably even realize. Thank God for that though!
For now I'll say it is a hard job. I know I'll get the hang of it and I work with people who've been at it for upwards of 20 years, so I know I shouldn't beat myself up. But I did want to cry this morning. And I really didn't think this would bother me, but some patients could be really condescending. I have a college degree and I've worked my butt off through lots of hard jobs and for some wierd reason no one can fathom, I just have no problem pulling up my sleeves and getting my hands dirty for crappy pay!! And for people to give you the attitude that you are "just" an aide bothered me more than I thought, probably because I have never assumed that the way you earn your living has anything to do with your worth. I don't judge people that way and while I know that most people do, it still hurts me a little when I get that attitude. But I don't say a word, because the job is about the patients, not about you. Which I believe is what makes nursing such a stressful, burnout kind of job.
But I will say most of the patients are more than understanding, very sweet and luckily most of the people I work with are really wonderful. There is a great dynamic that I never thought possible for a large group of mostly women. So I'm gonna keep the faith and hope I get the hang of this CNA thing. Two months of orientation could not have prepared me for what I went through today on my own!