Hi All, Hoping I can get some insight here and some unbiased advise.
(And please read - I am not asking here if you can be a midwife if you 'hate being a nurse' - that is not how I feel at all and, quite frankly, it saddens me to see midwives - or potential midwives - who feel that way!)
I have been a nurse now for almost 5 years (well, I graduated 5 years ago, have only worked in the hospital for about a year and a half) and my plan all along has been to eventually go back to school and become a midwife. I have applied for programs for next fall but am starting to have my doubts.
All of my hospital experience has been on L&D and I really love it. However, I have recently moved from working in a very large teaching hospital in a major metropolitan area (about 8,000 deliveries a year, just L&D) to a small community hospital in a rural area where I work in an MCH dept (L&D, post-partum, NICU, and peds, combined - although I just do L&D and PP). I am only working per diem at this new hospital, which I am very happy about, but, since starting here, I have felt really insecure about my skills and knowledge as a nurse. The level of autonomy for nurses at this little community hospital is so much greater than it was at my old hospital - and quite frankly the care is much better and more thorough! - but I feel like I am nowhere near as good a nurse as most of my colleagues!
I am still terribly nervous at most deliveries, I panic when there is an emergency, and even in the day-to-day things I feel like I am just not thorough or thoughtful enough to be good. Plus, there is so much that I still don't know, but I feel like I should by now.....I don't know, it just makes me feel like I have no business going back to school to become a midwife if I can't even get down being a good nurse!
Anyone have any advise or been through something similar?
