gentle

Yes, I think I agree with Grandmawrinkle on this one to some extent. It just seems that this is one of those people you need to watch and document. He/she should certainly know what to do with a fax order etc. And also should be interested very interested in those details of the paperwork considering this is how facilities are being reimbursed etc. I'm not saying your colleague is as dumb as a rock, because they may be very good at customer service etc. However there are too many things to think about for me.

hmmmmm, it's so hard to read this thread without 1) agreeing that we're not paid properly for what we do, and 2) cursing loudly enough to wake up my children and the neighbors (sigh).

This one I did actually say, "I'm sorry, Who are you?! Visiting hours are over." "Oh, you're the replacement???!!!!! Well, it's nice to meet you." The other things I would honestly like to say, really shouldn't be put into print. Guess it doesn't matter though. Whatever evil one puts out into existence, will most certainly return back to the original owner.

One of the other members said the statement in another post. I'll try to recite it, but don't know if I can. It's from the Princess Bride????? or something. "Yes, I know you are intelligent, now SHUT UP!!!!!!"

@vashtee: Just ask to be reassigned on days that you can't take the ignorance. You're human. We all are. This isn't about a witty comeback or anything else. There's nothing wrong with your motivations. Heck, I would have felt the same way as you did. And yes, I too have had to deal with patients and their visitors who didn't like me due to my nationality etc. Either way, don't stoop to the level of ignorance. You'll be frustrated with yourself later. When you have the energy to deal with an ignorant individual, you can handle the assignment. When you don't have the energy to deal with an ignorant individual, then try to trade with someone else. That's what I do; and to be quite frank, I'm sure you would have done that if need be also. However, in the end your deeper belief system won over. The deeper belief to treat others kindly. To treat the strangers in the land with kindness, so to speak. It may be engrained into your soul by your grandparents just like my ancestors did for me. Obviously, the belief system of kindness won over. You treated your patient well and they requested to have you back as their nurse. WELL DONE!!!!!! You've represented our profession well, despite your personal frustrations. :yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah::yeah: That's just my .

There are tons of companies needing dialysis nurses. Find one and move on. Take the lessons you've learned with you and go. This nurse is a bully and isn't to be trusted. I work with one of those also. I stay far away and try to make certain that I know my stuff inside and out. And as another poster stated, you will always need a second job. So find one. I have learned to always keep my backup plan ready for use.

Yes, usually the students are ready for medications and assessments. There are some cranky, jacked up everything out there. Would you not agree? I really hate that some of the senior nurses chose to at you. I don't think that's fair or right. However, if they've told you the same answer several times and you still don't get it, then yeah, that might happen. It still sucks though. To be rude and cranky, is another persons choice and will not be yours or mine - thankfully . I'm grateful that you were willing to hang in through the posts to try to understand the "why". It doesn't make the problem better but it does help one to understand what both sides are facing. It helps to understand why someone is feeling the way they are feeling. The student nurse doesn't have to take on the feeling of being offended. Nor should they. Though that is much easier said than done. Unfortunately, the system is broken!!!! And this isn't going to get any better, at least not from where I'm standing in the stadium of life and healthcare!!!! So since, I don't like how the game is played . . . . . . . and I have to stay and work in the stadium until my shift is over . . . . . . . I have chosen to change my focus. I will focus on the patients and the students and how to give and take what I can/where I can. If no one wants to buy my popcorn and hot dogs (accept my help or advice the way it is offered), it's okay. Afterall, the people running the stadium (executives, administration, and board of directors) don't care diddly or squat about me. If I'm injured they will just replace me. I am not a human with a life. I'm not even a valued number. I understand this. I have chosen to value others and just keep moving. I can live with myself. And in the end, as I die on hospice, I will go peacefully. I have made good choices. And that is what life and nursing are all about! Make good choices for yourselves and your patients. Somehow, someway, everything will turn out okay. NOT perfect, but okay. And I can live with that.

Do what you need to do. This is about your life and your health. And to be quite frank, it doesn't matter what your compadres think or do. If they give you harder assignments then so be it. Learn from the experience and treat them with kindness irregardless. Stay to yourself. Focus only on your patients. You will do GREAT. I believe in you and you can do this.

Yes, I do understand what you are saying regarding adls etc. However, be aware that shifts in thinking must begin to take place within the brain once a student begins passing medications. My friends and I work with each student where they are and according to their program - when we can!!! Unfortunately, our patients' bodies do whatever the body wants and as such, we must respond accordingly. Rather than lose the student, teach the student. Rather than see a blank face, explain the whys and put the student in the thick with hands on. Yes, we will even throw you in the code or rapid response. You are not safe with avoiding experiences if you are with my friends and I. If a student is in the first semester, then why not pair them up with the cna? This is what the programs have done in the areas that we live in. As the students progress in their learning then their focuses become different. As do ours. Does this make sense?

Oiye, yes I see. Katy, I didn't communicate that thought clearly. I will try again. I am trying to word this correctly, so please continue to ask for clarification if you do not understand what I am trying to convey. I'm open and will try again if need be. That said, here I go . . . My thought, though not worded correctly, is that our nursing students would read what the new graduates are encountering on the floor. The levels of responsibility and frustrations that many First Year Nurses encounter. From this mental vantage point, I thought that perhaps it might be easier for student nurses to understand why we as older or more seasoned nurses are abrupt and seem rather cranky at times. Unfortunately, I am concerned that our profession will lose many excellent new nurses in the first year because of the stress and intensity required on the job. Some states put more burdens on nurses than others, which isn't good, imho. Hence if a nurse in his or her first year of nursing is practicing in a state that does not have acceptable patient ratio laws, that poor soul will be horribly put upon by a group of money hungry executives that do not care if the nurse is physically and mentally exhausted. That nurse will then become embittered within a system that isn't easy to escape. Leaving the profession isn't easy because typically nurses do make a decent income. Currently the economy is poor/jobs are scarce. The newer nurses then become more callous and a bit short tempered. Over time the newer nurses become the older or more senior nurses. It is a vicious cycle. My thoughts are to teach critical thinking so that you can save time, move faster and stay safe. I also think boundaries are important as well. It is less important to make money, if one is tired. The time spent making money, would be better spent with ones family. In other words, I would rather newer nurses be leary of picking up extra shifts. I would rather them spend time recuperating, meditating on things of beauty and things which will keep them balanced in all areas of their lives. Money isn't worth making sometimes. In the end, I suppose that I believed perhaps you and other student nurses would be able to read the first year forum and see what you were getting into. From there, it would be more clear why we as seasoned nurses respond the way we do. I apologize if my thoughts in this post are not as succinct in previous posts. I am tired now. Father's Day has been busy and good. I wish you well in all you do. Sincerely, Gentle

Oh goodness, there is not such thing as only a psw. Without you my day is pure hell. I appreciate all that you do. Thank you for everything though you may not work with me, you may work with my friend. Or you may be the person taking care of my family member. Thank you. I am proud of you. Under no circumstances would this be happening to any of you with my friends. You are to be given safe secure environments to learn. Be aware that some of us know you are encountering this and we are greatly displeased. This is not acceptable. I'm so sorry. This simply isn't okay. But again, this is why some nursing students are assigned to preceptors like me. One other note: Please do not ask me where your instructor is. I have no idea.

wow, gee fuzzywuzzy, you were less fuzzywuzzy than I was gentle. Perhaps, you are a bit more left brained with somethings and simply get down to the heart of the situation (kinda like me)? I'm not sure. but, I must say, it is nice to make your acquaintance. I would be glad to work by your side. You come across as no nonsense and let's take care of that patient. However, on the flipside, I must give care and patience to our younger nurses. I must communicate at least for a short-time so that perhaps others will understand the myriad of circumstances that we seasoned nurses find ourselves encountering when the newer RNs come to complete their clinicals. You see, as I get older, the younger ones must learn. I have much to offer as do they. I believe if we all work together we will survive for the better of society. I'm sure that sounds corny but it is my belief. It really is. I was raised with my Great grandparents values rather than my parents. (long story) Do I think the OP is gaining understanding from our posts or just seeking emotional validation? I don't know for certain. It may be that your assessment is correct. I'm not sure. I do know that if the other students are reading, I hope they will learn to look for experiences that will develop them as critical thinkers. In the hospitals, we don't always have much help (as they should already know). Once they are out on their own, they may find themselves struggling hard. They will need to make some decisions faster than others. Not everyone will be patient and give them the time they need to make decisions. It's rough. I do wonder why the OP wasn't able to connect the dots when it comes to the differences between nursing student and full fledged nurse. Perhaps they hadn't read the first year nurses blog? ( Heck your situation is worse . Another pet peeve of mine - why do we give so little to the elderly who tried to give so much to us? Why not honor the elderly by hiring enough staff to properly care for them? I don't get it.) At any rate, fuzzywuzzy, I do hope that you are well. Please protect yourself and your body. Heaven only knows how many times you have been placed in potentially dangerous situations in which you might have injured your back. Thank you for writing and I like your name. Be well. Sincerely, Gentle

Your statement is correct. However, you and I have 2 different priorities. Mine is to make sure the students understand the "whys" not just the "how tos". They will constantly be reminded of the ADLs once they are working. The ADLs will not have the potential to injure a patient. The "whys". Those can make or break a tough situation. My preceptees learn not just how to but why to. You and I are just 2 different people who look at one situation from 2 different perspectives. For me, no harm no foul.

@ OP: I see this quite differently. I too work DOU. You aren't there to feed the patient, help the patient get to the bathroom or help the CNA!!! That statement isn't okay for me. You are there to learn. I'm going to explain to you why we are giving Mrs. X clonidine for her blood pressure instead of metoprolol at this point in time. Mrs. X will be fine if she doesn't eat her breakfast, lunch or dinner immediately. She won't be fine if her blood pressure is too high and heart rate is in the high 50s. I have a decision to make and you need to know exactly why I'm making that decision. I take your presence very very seriously. I want you to learn and grow. I want you to work side by side with me with understanding. I understand that my patients need emotional support. However, it sucks to provide emotional support to someone who is slightly dusky or has a small change in fluid electrolyte balances. Small changes can lead to big problems later if I don't pay attention. I want you to learn how to pay attention too. Meanwhile, there are other experiences I am more interested in you seeing. For example, I want you to witness a potential hostile situation being managed calmly and carefully with wisdom. You won't see this if you are taking someone to the bathroom. I want to explain to you why it was important for Nurse Y to use humor, with an irritated family member. Or perhaps it was better to provide an over abundance or empathy at that moment. Ever considered service recovery? When something goes wrong. How do we correct the situation. All these things cannot be learned and understood if you are taking someone to the bathroom or providing emotional support to a noncompliant diabetic who has gotten themselves readmitted for the 5th time in the last 6 months. And even if my posts come off rather brusque, guess what I am still trying to teach you. I'm trying to get you to understand what my goals are for you. Believe it or not, by the time you will have finished with me you will have gained more knowledge and wisdom, than with a nice nurse who isn't going to dig in and really teach you. Contrary to how media has portrayed nurses in the past, we are not always going to be nice. Nice is useless if my patient is crashing. Nice was also a useless trait Friday night when my patient had a bradycardia of 50-40 at 2300. Now it's your turn. Why did I consider nice being a useless trait for this 75year old man at 2300? There was no atropine ordered for use and the patient was tolerating the heart rate fine. His initial SBP was 142. I paged the cardiologist 2times by 0031 and he hadn't called back. SBP 139. Patient is a sweetheart of a guy. Has had diarrhea for a couple of days and is still having this problem. I gave the immodium. IVF are running. I work the night shift as you have guessed and my patient has had a long day. He's ready for some sleep. I spoke with the attending physician, who said to monitor the patient because the patient was maintaining his BP and was asymptompatic. My patient was on bedrest, so I bathed him because of the loose stool. He also wasn't diaphoretic or dizzy again my patient was on bedrest. Again, it's your turn now. What have your instructors taught you? Take the time on and off today and think through, why I might have been showing patience (character trait) but not necessarily nice. Why was I more concerned? To figure out the answer, you will have to ask me questions. I will be in and out today - It's Father's Day!!!! and We are off to make sure the Daddy has a wonderful day :redpinkhe

I will try to word this a carefully as possible so . . . . first off, you have not "taken my load". I find that statement irritating and frustrating. you are there to learn and I am there to teach you. yes, I understand that you have a Clinical instructor. The truth is I have probably given and received report from your Clinical Instructor as a colleague and am aware of their strengths and weaknesses as well as they are of mine. If I have taken a class like ACLS. BLS, PALS or some other class from your clinical instructor, don't be surprised if I am more bristly when I meet you. I may know for a fact that your instructor shouldn't be teaching you. I take your presence seriously. Again, you are there to learn and I am there to help teach you. I am ultimately responsible for this patient and will have to undo anything that you might not get correct. I will also be the person who may end up quizzing you about those medications. Why you may ask. Because your instructor has too many students. Your instructor cannot possibly ensure that each one of you is learning and providing safe competent care. Your instructor is only 1 human. So now, the responsibility to supervise you has just been passed on to me. I can't supervise you without teaching you. It was engrained into my being. So, instruct and explain to you I will. However, you have just taken time away from my organization and I must now regroup, reprioritize and readjust my responsibilities. (my energy is being consumed more quickly than normally) Yes, I do love change. If I didn't I wouldn't be in nursing. Yes, I do love teaching. Again if I didn't I wouldn't be in nursing. However, please be respectful of my position and level of responsibilities, while I am talking to my colleagues etc. I don't appreciate it when you interrupt me as I am giving report. I will snap at you faster than a cobra takes down it's victim. :mad::mad: Please wait patiently for me until I am finished talking to my colleague. What you may consider a "meaningless side conversation" may have been important for me to relax and reorganize my thoughts so that I can help you grow and become a phenomenal nurse. And really that is my purpose, if I am your preceptor. I don't get paid to teach you or to be your supervisor. I am doing your instructor's job and they are the ones getting paid. That's why you keep getting assigned to me!!!!!! I am willing to put the hard work into you needed for you to grow: your instructor is taking both the credit and the money. And I don't get to choose whether I have you or not. I am stuck with you. I don't mind having you if my energy levels are high. I don't get just one nursing student for my patient assignments. I now have 2 to 3 of you asking questions, asking for help, interrupting one another, wanting to give medications and need me to go with you etc. I don't mind. I want to be there for you. I want you to grow wonderfully. However, you do pull on my patience and other deeper areas of my energy that I normally reserve for my patients and all the other people I need to interact with on a given day. By the time I go home, you have also drained some of my energy away from my family. To work with you as nursing students is sacrificial for some of us. We are yelled at if something is missed, which can happen since we usually don't just get 1 student. We are ultimately still responsible for the patient. Those of us who want you to understand are garnering all of our resources to help you move forward. We also are very aware that many of you are barely eating, may be pregnant, about to lose your homes etc. We are trying to be patient and kind to you. You have asked why some nurses are so rude to students. I have given you my answer and I do believe it is safe to say that some of my colleagues feel somewhat the same. If you find that one nurse in particular is rude, then feel free to report him or her to your Instructor. Your Instructor needs to know that and should handle that person quickly. (I know I would!!!!!) If you're my responsibility then you are mine. I am to guard and protect you till you leave my wings. I am not the only nurse who feels this way. However, I also need you to be more respectful of my position. I need you to be more patient with my disorganization: you've somewhat thrown me off. I need you to be polite and show respect to your own colleagues as well. I don't appreciate it when you don't. Best wishes.

I try to come up with nice mentally/emotionally workable careplans that keep all staff members smiling . Although, if my managers knew, . Oh well, this is an unwritten care plan for the staff more than the patients. The care plan usually looks like this: Knowledge deficit related to poor understanding of manners: Goal (for nursing staff) do not slap patient silly. Goal for patient: Patient will keep inappropriate comments to a minimum. Interventions: For nursing staff- restrict time spent with patient to prevent slapping patient silly. For patient - Patient will understand through multiple individuals that groping, cursing, kissing sounds are inappropriate by being told so. Patient will receive various nurses to care for him throughout a shift so as to prevent one particular nurse from losing their mind and slapping him silly. Charge nurse will be notified of patients inappropriate remarks as will Nurse Manager and DON if necessary. Male staff members will be sent to provide care for in appropriate male patients who are rude to women. Women staff members will assist with care to inappropriate female clients who are rude to males. And then I just adjust as needed for gender preferences of the patient etc. Evaluation: outcome is considered excellent if patient is discharged without shoe marks applied to patient's hands or their head. At any rate, the basic jest of what I'm trying to say, is that I laugh alot and use the situation to make me and my colleagues laugh. From a more relaxed place I am able to look at my "sleeze ball" patient and quickly intervene for what needs to be done and garner in assistance as often as possible. I am more often SILENT. Even my energy levels change while dealing with this type of patient. The end result is that the patient picks up on my cues somehow or another. I ignore alot of what is being said that's inappropriate and keep pushing toward the goal - health and discharge to home or downgrade from stepdown to tele. Hope this helps. gentle

I think you were very brave and mature in how you handled the situation. I don't know if I would have done as well or not. It's very difficult. I too believe that you are making the correct decision to exit that type of nursing. I would do likewise. I don't know that I would file for a lawsuit, even though I live here in the US. It just isn't my personality. I've been wronged etc and do believe that I could have filed a lawsuit against my last employer but, it wasn't worth the emotional stress to me. I already had enough stress. Please rest your body mind and soul. And best wishes with all that you do. I would also recommend writing those offensive people's names on toilet paper and flushing it down the toilet. Rude I know but it's easier on me than jeopardizing myself by accidentally backlashing. Oh yes, I also have many other coping techniques that I use. I journal quite a bit. I talk about the situation with my friends- we pray together. And other types of coping that I've had to learn. Many hugs, hon. And you're doing great with a bad situation. You also know what to do: you are stepping back, reassessing your situation, setting your goals, and have started working toward your long and short term goals. You are doing wonderfully.

I live this. Not so much anymore but, had them alot. i internalize stress as much as possible - personal choice in some cases. the end result was vasovagal. my zoloft has helped me by decreasing the anxiety. end result not so much a problem anymore and hasn't been for several years now.

It does appear I should clarify. No I wouldn't do both at the same time. However, I would use the electives to fill in some of the bio classes. You have plenty of time and there isn't a rush to get everything done. You have an entire life-time to achieve your goals. You just have to plan carefully and stay focussed. Give yourself extra time to master nursing after your graduate and while you are working as a nurse. If you're not able to obtain employment immediately following nursing school, then finish your bio degree and teach for a while. You have options. ***hugs***

Hi there I do agree with the poster who said you were burning out. You started out in ER, which is stressful, then chose to travel, then went to a NICU. This is the time to ask yourself what you want to do with your life, not just your career. We are talking about your life now. Your quality of life stinks from what you are describing soooo it's definitely time for change. Here is what I am currently doing to improve my own quality of life. I do work in an interesting environment. (floating without rotating among all staff members: people who blatantly lie to your face: crazy phusicians who don't assess their patients and don't know how to assess neurological patients: these are the good things and the list goes on) Soo you get the idea . . . I am offering all these suggestions as things that I have tried at different times and have found to work for me. All these suggestions come from my backpack of pain that God has used to help me love myself and others. ***hugs and thank you for being willing to join me in the field of nursing*** I have chosen to take classes so that I can be out of here in the next 3 months. I know approximately how much money I need to make to provide for my family and even if I don't make that amount we need, we will just have to do without. I can't risk putting myself or my family in jeopardy because my emotions are whacked from a toxic work environment. When at work, I try to stay very pleasant to everyone. I take treats, give hugs to other employees (I'm a hugger) and greet everyone with a smile. Not because I have to, it's because this is who I am. I don't care what other people are like, I am going to be me and not get caught up in their ugliness. I am too dang old and have been in nursing too long to worry about anything other than my family and my own character. Soooo, don't do anything but take care of yourself on your days off. And I do mean don't do anything. For example, cleaning your house if fine. Taking care of your children if you have kids is fine. Doing their homework is fine too. However, spend extra money on taking the family out to eat so that you're not cooking everyday. Go see a therapist so that you can have another place to vent safely. I have done this many times over and it works wonders for me. Best money, I have ever spent in my life. I will continue to use this route for the rest of my life also. Those people are there to help others so take therapists up on the opportunity and give them the dang money for the listening ear. Excersise . . . can't stress this one enough. We adopted a furry person into our family. Best thing we could have ever done. Guess, what since she is a medium sized dog, we have to walk her - everyday. She gives loves, kisses, and enjoys playing tug a war, and fetch. My kids love her, my husband loves her, and she loves our family. Have you had your pedicure and manicure recently? Pull out your wallet. It is time!!!!! Let someone massage your feet and help you relax. Are you having situational depression or do you have clinical depression? Do you need to see a physician for antidepressants? If so, get in to see the doctor. I do have textbook depression. And it is pretty bad sometimes even with the medication. I also have a bit of ptsd, etc. Are you working in these environments because you feel you need the money? Well, money can't buy happiness and if you only focus on paying the bills instead of balance in your soul, you're not going to have an easy time of existence. For this, get out the pen and paper and write out your five year plan. I re-evaluate every year in January what I'm doing with my life, what my goals are for the children etc. Now granted this was easier when I was only working part-time but I will be doing this again, none-the less. How are you doing with God? Do you have a spiritual component to your life? This is very important for everyone. Heck even science has documented this in articles. Soooo, I always have my personal recommendation which is God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. You can pm me, I am always glad to gently share and not whack with a Bible under any circumstances. However, I do recognize that not everyone chooses this route. Either way, you will need peace for your soul, my friend. I know my post may seem like over-kill; however, for myself, I need balance of mind, body, and soul. When I am in this place, I am able to evaluate my situation more clearly and move from there. I hope this helps and I do wish you well.

go for it. i am considering going back to pick up a second degree. trying to decide between biology or Sign Language interpretation. Just remember that the biology will improve your nursing skills; however, the two programs are both difficult. My mom double majored in biology and math. I wish you well and am proud of you. Even if you decide to finish the biology major later it is okay. Don't worry about it. Best wishes. ***hugs***

please call the school to verify, this morning. best wishes.

Thanks Leslie. :redbeathe

:trout: Please notice above example. Step 1. Obtain nasty dead fish. Step 2. Beat the living H*** out of stupid nurse manager for being dumb enough to bring up such a stupid statement. Step 3. Using same nasty dead fish [you mustn't waste in this economy your know], beat the h*** out of stupid co-workers, who have time to make aforementioned complaint. Step 4. Please sit down with a hot cup of tea to enjoy for a job thoroughly well done. On a more serious note. Time to beware, be cautious, and go with your gut.

There are indeed reprecussions for inmate rudeness to staff. There are no reprecussions for guard inappropriateness to staff. There are no reprecussions for visitors--who you'd like to lock away--for rudeness and inappropriateness to staff. And physicians . . .