Perspective and sympathy

This is certainly not limited to peds ... my definition of a Very Bad Day is not the same as that of most of the general population, ya know? My threshhold for "terrible" is a lot higher.

But I will say that peds ... is particularly tough. It always amazes me to hear peds nurses described as if they are simply there to bring comfort, or to hear very inexperienced nursing students say they are *sure* they want to do pediatric oncology or PICU. They have no idea.

Hats off to you ... I see critical kiddos in the ED on a semi-regular basis but it always tugs at my heart. You do - day in and day out - what I could not. Thanks for all that you do.

My teen some months actually does feel like she's dying. We've been trying to find the right pill for her but each menstrual cycle brings debilitating cramping, vomiting, migraines, depression and lethargy. Food for thought.

I tend to view the world in a story form. Someone always has a better story than I do (or worse) but it's up to me to set aside my personal experiences and try to understand what they're experiencing. Perception is, in my opinion, the best and worst thing nurses have.

So where a shift nurse sees a patient who is non-compliant and loves the attention of multiple stays on the med/surg floor, I see a person who is battling overwhelming life circumstances and badly needs support of a qualified mental health professional. My life experiences color my perception as does everyone's.

On that note, no way I could do peds.

I also was a PICU nurse for many years. I was tough on my kids...one of whom has a congenital heart defect...and expected them to buck up.

This came to a "head" when my teen daughter called me at work one day saying she hurt her shoulder in gym and I, of course, told her to get over it. She came into our clinic a short while to see me and I discovered that she had dislocated her shoulder...geesh.

Crazed you are amazing. I really get what you say.

But, there is always a but, I find it easy to see the med/surg patient as you see them. Overwhelming life circumstances, needing support etc. Whereas my own family......I guess because I know their life story and available support....I get really annoyed.

My husband has gotten severely overly dramatic, and turns into a grumpy bear, over......bunions...... hemorrhoids.... insomnia...and sciatica. Not at the same time. Geesh.......I grit my teeth, roll my eyes......and put on my fake smile, kind voice, and sympathetic words.

And of course he doesn't listen to or believe a word I tell him about their cause, treatment, etc. And never seems to think I am being supportive enough!

This is certainly not limited to peds ... my definition of a Very Bad Day is not the same as that of most of the general population, ya know? My threshhold for "terrible" is a lot higher.But I will say that peds ... is particularly tough. It always amazes me to hear peds nurses described as if they are simply there to bring comfort, or to hear very inexperienced nursing students say they are *sure* they want to do pediatric oncology or PICU. They have no idea.Hats off to you ... I see critical kiddos in the ED on a semi-regular basis but it always tugs at my heart. You do - day in and day out - what I could not. Thanks for all that you do.

like another poster I am the same...no blood...no mercy. Get back in the saddle and go. Sometimes my kids hate me. I am a student though and not Peds oncology (the idea that i could lose more patients than not scares me for some reason, but its also why i wont survive in hospice) but I have considered picu or NICU. I know it's tough, and I'm not sure how I will handle losing a Peds patient. I have lost adults as an EMT, but I also got headed towards medicine when I was nursing y babies and became a breast feeding counselor. I'd like to stay with the parent child triad. I feel most comfortable there.

I don't work exclusively with peds, but they are a part of the patient population I serve.

I have cared for people experiencing everything from death (both expected and unexpected) to the common cold (yes, people actually do present to the Emergency Department for the common cold).

As difficult as it can be at times, I think it is important to be able to look at the person in front of you and summon up some empathy for their individual situation. No, your average menstrual cramps aren't going to kill you, but to that person, it is significant and it can be distressing. Just because some people have it worse does not invalidate the experience of the other person.

It doesn't mean you have to gush sympathy for the person with the completely benign complaint; however, part of being there for them is to empathize.

My husband has gotten severely overly dramatic, and turns into a grumpy bear, over......bunions...... hemorrhoids.... insomnia...and sciatica. Not at the same time. Geesh.......I grit my teeth, roll my eyes......and put on my fake smile, kind voice, and sympathetic words.

And of course he doesn't listen to or believe a word I tell him about their cause, treatment, etc. And never seems to think I am being supportive enough!

Are we married to the same man???

Anyways, I think nurses have to be cautious with how much sympathy we dole out. There are sick people with hard lives, and we need to care for them the best we can, without getting too emotionally involved.

I definitely want to tell people to "suck it up" far more often than I actually do... Except my husband. I do tell him to suck it up. Poor man.

I do take physical pain seriously even if it's not as bad as what I see at work . . however drama is another issue. A lot of times just me saying "Gee that must really hurt a lot, I'm so sorry you are in pain" works wonders to make them calm down. However drama is another issue. My nearly 12 year old knows not to do the drama stuff with me or she'll get a lecture of how much worse it could be.

Yeah, it sometimes bothers me when people whine about little stuff when I was taking care of a 10 year-old with a trach/vent and g-tube that complained less.

Some people don't see the "bad" that we see and cramps ARE the equivalent.