One of *those* nurses....

[Shenanigans, RN]

Annnnd its finally happened. I've finally seen what so many had warned me about and so many complain about. The nastiness that can weasle its way into our nursing teams.

Long and short of it, there's a particular nurse on my ward who is very nasty, she's mean spirited and reports every little hiccup someone makes to the manager. And they're the kinds of hiccups you could just address by talking to the person who made them.

Because of her actions, any my complete naive nature that "everyone is good and no one is every nasty, really" HR has gotten their sticky beaks involved. I told my manager I had tried to avoid it by doing what they said, by changing what parts of my practice (evidenced based but not practiced at that particular hospital) and playing by all their shaming rules, but no, they kept pushing and pushing and pushing, and a particular person in HR said they were going to report me to Council and I'd loose my rego, because I'm dyslexic... actually, she used the words "cognitively deficient" and unsafe. Despite the fact I have never made a drug error. My Union rep (yeah, union's involved now too) says that individual HR is a spiteful banshee who reports everyone and Council gets angry at her.

Funny, well, annoying thing is, I had a dyslexia test done which came back in all its eight paged glory saying I was safe to practice and my cognitive skills for nursing were superior. But HR got their doctor to answer some loaded questions saying I was unsafe! They wanted me to have this dyslexica test done, and obviously they weren't happy with the results that said I was fine.

When I told someone who used to work there as a doctor about the situation, they guessed right away which ward and which person was pushing the things. Everyone else just looks at me blanky and states "who did you **** off?"

The other thing is, another nurse, who is high up the food chain, is also dyslexic, but I don't see them going after her. And she's made drug errors!

So, yeah, turns out some people aren't nice deep down. Turns out some people are just plain ****** and mean. My last job, there were some people there who were really ******, but they'd never go after your job or rego.

Basically, according to the Union, a human rights group, lawyers and other nurses I know who work for council and union are saying my employer don't have a leg to stand on. Of course, its still a royal pain in the orifice to have to wait for them to sort their crap out.

I don't see the arrogant schmucks backing down, and that's what really burns me. Gone are the days when people can take responsibilty for their actions, admit their wrongs and apologise.

Its a mountain out of a molehill and I tried to stop it getting to this, but this particular person decided they didn't like me for some reason.

Seriously, I wish people, nurses especially, could just get on with the job at hand and put a stop to this horrible workplace bullying and clichyness. Its pathetic. And it impacts on patient care!

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to rail. Feel free to post your equally annoyed ramblings about peopel who are just mean and petty.

[pca_85]

I'm sorry you work with such a toxic person, I know the feeling. People like that are vampires and will drain you dry if you let them. They're unhappy. I think they should all be forced to work with each other.:flamesonb

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this kind of hateful attitude at work. It is too bad that people can not come to work, do their job, and go home. Instead, they have to cause a whole lot of grief for other people between the coming to work and the going home. Some days it feels like junior high all over again.

All I can say about the trouble makers at my work is they are currently going after each other. I am just staying out of the path of mud throwing and waiting to see who has their job when it is all over. Ugly truely ugly. Hope they do not set their sights on me any time soon.

[Autonomy RN]

It is the hardest thing to learn to deal with people like that. I have gotten better over time and taking lots of classes and reading lots of books on the topic. But some people cannot be dealt with. What is probably hardest is that it sounds like you are getting a raw deal and truly being picked on. You are so right, nurses need to stop eating their young and think about the patients. I always tell people when they are speaking about a colleague, "I don't want to listen unless you want help with how you are going to approach this person directly. I have a committment to all my co-workers-to each other and our patients to bring up issues personally and directly in a caring way- just the way I would want issues about me brought up to me." It can be awkward, but people do finally get the message and in some cases it can be catching. Sounds like you feel the same way. It is too bad it has gone so far to get the union involved. You could challenge yourself that when this is over to find a way to get her to soften up to you...it is an exercise in your superior nursing/ psychology skills....Good luck!

[oramar]

You only run into someone that nasty once in a while but it does happen. In every case I have noticed that the person eventually run into someone as nasty or even nastier than they are. Then it is like Satan vs. Lucifer in a battle over control over the universe. Usually resulting in both of them getting exactly what they got coming. Get thru this and over it as quickly as you can. Remember the best revenge is a life well lived. Then one day someone will come up to you and say "did you hear what happened to so and so". They will relate a tale of woe that brought down the monster. You can say to yourself, "justice took a while but it found it's mark".

[WarmBlanket]

Annnnd its finally happened. I've finally seen what so many had warned me about and so many complain about. The nastiness that can weasle its way into our nursing teams.

Because of her actions, any my complete naive nature that "everyone is good and no one is every nasty, really" HR has gotten their sticky beaks involved. I told my manager I had tried to avoid it by doing what they said, by changing what parts of my practice (evidenced based but not practiced at that particular hospital) and playing by all their shaming rules, but no, they kept pushing and pushing and pushing, and a particular person in HR said they were going to report me.

So, yeah, turns out some people aren't nice deep down. Turns out some people are just plain ****** and mean. My last job, there were some people there who were really ******, but they'd never go after your job or rego.

I don't see the arrogant schmucks backing down, and that's what really burns me. Gone are the days when people can take responsibilty for their actions, admit their wrongs and apologise.

Its a mountain out of a molehill and I tried to stop it getting to this, but this particular person decided they didn't like me for some reason.

Seriously, I wish people, nurses especially, could just get on with the job at hand and put a stop to this horrible workplace bullying and clichyness. Its pathetic. And it impacts on patient care!

Sorry for the rant, I just needed to rail. Feel free to post your equally annoyed ramblings about peopel who are just mean and petty.

TO Shenanigans , I hope this post will give you some comfort and insight because you are in a potentially critical situation. One month ago I was having similar problems and lost my job because of a bully nurse and the silence of management who refuse to acknowledge this huge problem. There have been discussions on allnurses and page after web-page concerning "lateral violence in nursing". It is time to get real and acknowledge the issue of bully nurses. This is not about the crabby co-worker or someone who is difficult. This is about the toxic bully. The nurse that undermines, hides equipment and shoves you under the bus at every chance. They have an agenda : make someone look bad. Bullies do not operate alone and the behavior goes unchallenged.

I was warned about this person and planned my approach : be extra nice, ask for advise and compliment her skills. This was a huge mistake. I became a target and from the very beginning of my rotation nothing I did was good enough for the queen. After one week I complained and the response from my supervisor was "thats just the way she is". My second mistake was not going to HR to document what was going on. I worried that my boss would get angry if I went over her head. Two weeks later my job was gone.

My advice to any nurse working with a bully : document every incident, be assertive and aware that some people want to win at any cost to you or the patient.

Now to the bullies that see themselves in this post: What is your goal ? Is your insecurity more important than patient safety ? How do think the next generation of nurses can provide the best care possible if you wont share the knowledge and skills someone taught you ? Technical skills are learned, compassion and integrity come from within.

[JB2007, ASN, RN]

You only run into someone that nasty once in a while but it does happen. In every case I have noticed that the person eventually run into someone as nasty or even nastier than they are. Then it is like Satan vs. Lucifer in a battle over control over the universe. Usually resulting in both of them getting exactly what they got coming. Get thru this and over it as quickly as you can. Remember the best revenge is a life well lived. Then one day someone will come up to you and say "did you hear what happened to so and so". They will relate a tale of woe that brought down the monster. You can say to yourself, "justice took a while but it found it's mark".

LOL Satan vs. Lucifer too funny! I could not agree with your post more.

[Carmela5]

I would keep a log of all that bullying, get a lawyer, and take legal action. That is harassment. I wouldn't stand for it.

[Midwest4me]

to shenanigans , i hope this post will give you some comfort and insight because you are in a potentially critical situation. one month ago i was having similar problems and lost my job because of a bully nurse and the silence of management who refuse to acknowledge this huge problem. there have been discussions on allnurses and page after web-page concerning "lateral violence in nursing". it is time to get real and acknowledge the issue of bully nurses. this is not about the crabby co-worker or someone who is difficult. this is about the toxic bully. the nurse that undermines, hides equipment and shoves you under the bus at every chance. they have an agenda : make someone look bad. bullies do not operate alone and the behavior goes unchallenged.

i was warned about this person and planned my approach : be extra nice, ask for advise and compliment her skills. this was a huge mistake. i became a target and from the very beginning of my rotation nothing i did was good enough for the queen. after one week i complained and the response from my supervisor was "thats just the way she is". my second mistake was not going to hr to document what was going on. i worried that my boss would get angry if i went over her head. two weeks later my job was gone.

my advice to any nurse working with a bully : document every incident, be assertive and aware that some people want to win at any cost to you or the patient.

now to the bullies that see themselves in this post: what is your goal ? is your insecurity more important than patient safety ? how do think the next generation of nurses can provide the best care possible if you wont share the knowledge and skills someone taught you ? technical skills are learned, compassion and integrity come from within.

hugs to you, warm blanket. i'm so sorry this has happened to you; also sorry shenanigans has had to deal with this crap. we have a nurse on another shift who has been badmouthing several of our nurses, including myself. that nurse has made a racial comment towards a mexican nurse, yelled at another nurse for drug mix-ups in front of staff, etc. if the nurse is reported however, we know nothing will be done and retaliation will occur....because, amazingly, that nurse's behavior is...in all reality...in retaliation over another issue. personally, i think it's time for legal action because managment and the union won't do a darn thing....but therein lies the rub---who's got money for a lawyer? so...we take it.....

[Anisettes, BSN, RN]

Now to the bullies that see themselves in this post: What is your goal ? Is your insecurity more important than patient safety ? How do think the next generation of nurses can provide the best care possible if you wont share the knowledge and skills someone taught you ? Technical skills are learned, compassion and integrity come from within.

Part of the problem with this is that THEY don't see themselves as bullies and you'd have a very hard time convincing them of it. They, like nearly everyone who has some kind of personality or emotional disorder has a kind of 'disconnect' in regard themselves.

To them it's YOU and EVERYONE ELSE with a problem. The problem couldn't possibly be with them. And you're right, bullies do not exist in a vacuum, there are always 'enablers', either active or passive or the behavior couldn't continue. Sigh. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose - the more things change, the more they remain the same.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

When you first see the nastiness aimed in your direction start writing down the days and what happened, and with whom. You may believe that right wins out over might, or that your admin is different from the accuser, but it may not be so, you may have hidden enemies, or you may annoy the wrong person at exactly the wrong time. Write it down. I promise you will thank yourself for it.

And find somewhere with supportive coworkers, and treat them like the gold that they are. Craziness is rampant in today's healthcare system.

[rngolfer53]

For whatever comfort it's worth, these people come in every occupation, not just nursing. They're motivated, imho, by power and the ability to control/harm others.

You're not naive for having a better opinion of people than many deserve. It takes a while, as in quite a few years, to develop the exo-skeleton and cynicism required to be prepared for the dark cloud underneath every silver lining, and the rat inside every person.

I believe you will find strength and solace both in conducting yourself professionally, defending yourself vigorously and relentlessly, and keeping a sense of humor about it all.

Best of luck to you in this mess.