Let's have some fun!

You're the jule to my a-fib;

And the crack to my mid-rib.

You're the test tube for my blood; the red bag for my soiled gloves.

Blood, gloves. They're *like* rhymes.

I should have stayed an English major.

You're the sanitizer for my hands; the call light for urgent demands.

This is an oddly compelling little challenge! I think I have it out of my system now.

The scalpel for my abscess

The wound I need redressed

You're the Billy in my Rubin; the Hep'rin in my tubin'

Now what about the bad version??

You're the code blue on my tea break

The student that doesn't bring cake

The necrosis in my ulceration

The spilt coffee in the nurses station

You're my tramadol for colitis

the PT for interstitial cystitis

youre the lovenox for the clots

...IT for EMR bots

...IV team for rolling veins

...ibuprofen for ankle sprains

Here's to Dilaudid every 2 hours.

Here's to wiping booty & giving patients showers.

Where oh where are the PCTs!

'Cuz I'm standing in C. diff up to my knees.

What about the family members, who make you insane-y?

Be nice to them or they'll notify Press Ganey.

Here's to Dilaudid every 2 hours.

Here's to wiping booty & giving patients showers.

Where oh where are the PCTs!

'Cuz I'm standing in C. diff up to my knees.

What about the family members, who make you insane-y?

Be nice to them or they'll notify Press Ganey.

FTW!!!

You're the Lasix to my fluid overload; the crash cart for my code.

You're like ulcers to my bottom,

like attends that offend chased by hibiclens

You're the lancet to my finger,

You're a pain that often lingers.

You're the corns upon my toes,

The NG tube shoved up my nose.

You're the stench smelled every day,

Burnt popcorn from the microwave..