You know Dialysis is taking over your life when...

In your mind, there is no difference between a banana and a loaded gun.

Your phone book contains the names of more doctors and nurses than names of 'regular' people.

You don't know what you weigh in pounds.

You don't consider catheter patients as being 'real' dialysis patients-- you have to get punctured by needles to be a 'real' patient.

You secretly believe that dialysis started off as a Nazi torture method.

You vow to slap silly the next doctor who prescribes a pill that must be taken 'with a full glass of water.'

You quit entering contests for cruises or overseas vacations because booking transient dialysis treatments is a logistical nightmare.

You welcome sweltering summer days, because you know that you can drink an extra 6 ounces of fluid if you sit on the porch and sweat for two hours.

You get to wear t-shirts with witty sayings like, "Dialysis: A Near-Life Experience."