The Laws of Real Life ...

  1. "The Law of Volunteering"
    If you dance with a grizzly bear, you had better let him lead.

    "The Law of Avoiding Oversell"
    When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.

    "The Law of Common Sense"
    Never accept a drink from a urologist.

    "The Law of Reality"
    Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

    "The Law of Self Sacrifice
    When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.

    "The Law of Motivation"
    Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

    "Weiler's Law"
    Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

    "Law of Probable Dispersal"
    Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

    "Law of Volunteer Labour"
    People are always available for work in the past tense.

    "Conway's Law"
    In any organization there is one person who knows what is going on.
    That person must be fired.

    "Law of Cybernetic Entomology"
    There is always one more bug.

    "Law of Drunkenness"
    You can't fall off the floor.

    "Heller's Law"
    The first myth of management is that it exists.

    "Osborne's Law"
    Variables won't; constants aren't.

    "Main's Law"
    For every action there is an equal and opposite government programme.

    "Weinberg's Second Law"
    If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programmes, then
    the first woodpecker that came along would have destroyed civilization.
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  2. 1 Comments

  3. by   JonRN
    I liked these. Esp. Weiler's first law. Reminds me of docs writing orders on the chart, they think the chart is magic, and anything they write on there will just happen. We once had a poor guy with neck cancer eating down to his carotids. Wouldn't you know some intern wrote on his chart "carotid precautions". I asked him what the hell we were supposed to do but he didn't have an answer for me.

    Pappy

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