32 y/o female ran into my triage office with a c/o "i have genital herpes." vs were obtained and normal, afebrile, non-toxic appearing. denied urinary s/s, vag. d/c or bleeding. last menstrual cycle was 2 weeks ago, denied being pregnant. i then asked her if she had open sores on her genitalia. she responded, "no." i was puzzled, "no? genital herpes?" i then asked her to describe what she meant by genital herpes. she responded by saying, "well, i had this sore in my mouth. i don't have any sores on my privates." as serious as i could be, i then asked her how long the oral ulcer had been there. she replied, "2 days, but it went away 2 days ago!" WELL WHATYA DOIN' IN MY EMERGENCY ROOM? "well i just wanted to be checked out." "do you have an ob/gyn?" "yeah, but couldn't get in until tomorrow." "OOOOOOOOOK, let's get you registered." 32 years of ignorance on her part was not going to be done away with in 5 minutes in my office.