Cost of a nursing home

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a
better way when we get old & feeble. I have acertained that I can get a nice
room at the Holiday Inn for around $65.00...that leaves $123.00 a day for
beer, food (room service), laundry, gratuities and special TV movies. They have a
swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free
toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap.

Super 8 is somewhat more economical and they have a free breakfast, though
you usually have to walk next door for lunch and dinner.

There may be a bit of a wait to get that first floor room, but that's OK, it
takes months to get into decent nursing homes. There is the Senior Bus, the
Handicap bus (if you fake a decent limp), a Church bus or van, cabs, and even a
regular bus. For a change of lunch take the Airport Bus and eat at one of the
fast food cafe's there.

The Inn has security, and if someone sees you drop over, they will call an
ambulance. And should you break a hip, the American Way is to sue. What more can
you ask for?

As a bonus, they all have AARP and other Senior discounts.

So:
When I reach the Golden age
help me keep my grin
Just check my old rickety ass
into the nearest Holiday Inn!

Always believe in magic and love will follow.