Major Depression, BPD, and previous back surgery - determined

czyja, MSN, RN · Jul 20, 2011

Wow. I applaud your resolve!

Nsg school is tough, there is not doubt about it. It is physically and emotionally demanding. I would urge you to pay close attention to your emotional state and if you sense a disruption, get help sooner rather than later. Be careful of you back too!

Do the best you can. That is all any of us should ask of ourselves. Good luck and keep us posted on your progress

lhomesrn · Jul 27, 2011

Hi, I do not like labels. They can follow you around. Not everyone understands. I once heard two nurses talking in the nursing station about a patient on antidepressants. It was so caddy and immature, but I just observe. Medical records are not as private as we would like and the hospitals have them too. I struggle with some of your same dilemas and I did get through it all. It was tough, but it can be done. Be a good listener and do not take anyone or anything as a personal attack. Many nursing instructors are type A personalities and for good reason. It is not that warm and compassionate environment that as nurses we should strive to be. I found nursing school to be competitive and fun at times. We became a family and really supported each other. I know it sounds like a contradiction. Just remember to keep your home life as drama free as possible. Nursing school and drama do not mix and the instructors don't like excuses. This is all coming from someone that understands depression. You can do it!

Hi all,
I start nursing school in three weeks. I'm 24 and have gone around my ass to get to my belly button, but I'm finally there.
I've had major depression (diagnosed) since I was 18. I have Borderline Personality Disorder since 18 and I had back surgery at 22.
I have a great desire to succeed as a nurse, specifically a mental health nurse. I know I have the intellect and the "normal" child in me still knows I want to be a nurse and help others who are suffering from mental illness too. Question is, can I make it through the "boot camp" of nursing school!
thoughts?
sandanrn

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 27, 2011

Hi all,
I start nursing school in three weeks. I'm 24 and have gone around my ass to get to my belly button, but I'm finally there.
I've had major depression (diagnosed) since I was 18. I have Borderline Personality Disorder since 18 and I had back surgery at 22.
I have a great desire to succeed as a nurse, specifically a mental health nurse. I know I have the intellect and the "normal" child in me still knows I want to be a nurse and help others who are suffering from mental illness too. Question is, can I make it through the "boot camp" of nursing school!
thoughts?
sandanrn

I'm writing this with a great deal of concern and hope for you, and making your dreams come true (you're the only one who can do that....) :)

First of all- if you consider yourself a 'child' (as in 'normal' child), do not go to nursing school... you must always be an adult when taking care of patients, dealing with families, talking to doctors, asking pharmacy for a med, etc. There is no time to grow up while you are in nursing school, and definitely not while working as a nurse. I know this sounds harsh, but working through whatever got you a borderline personality disorder diagnosis is really important- and the more you can do to work on you, the better nurse you will be whenever the time is right. :) Taking care of YOU is much more important- and will take you so much further. :up:

Mental health nursing is not for those with unresolved issues (though it draws many) that lead them to refer to thier 'normal' child.... I understand about inner child, adult child, and all of that- I get it (I worked psych and alcohol/drug rehab for years). I saw several co-workers who really thrived on the nurturing aspects of some other co-workers- and they were inappropriately looking to get their own needs met. When you're still wounded, it makes sense. But being a nurse is ALL about the patient while you're at work...it can't be for feeling validated, nurtured, or worthwhile. :)

Your past is not your fault- but taking care of others is a huge responsibility. Be sure you're done needing someone to rescue you. BPD is rough- and there are better techniques now than there were even 15 years ago....You'd be doing yourself - and patients- a disservice by not helping yourself as much as you can, before you try to help others. :)

You will get a LOT of negative feedback during nursing school for all sorts of things, and it's not personal- but it will FEEL personal. Are you really ready for your adult self to deal with that? All of the time?

I wish you the best- I can tell you want to help other people, and understand the difficulty in dealing with mental illness- that will make you very helpful to others- just be sure that you are ready by having your needs met outside of nursing :) And as you start nursing school (as i would guess you will), keep close contact with your therapist. Use a journal. And remember that the criticism you get from instructors is not at YOU- but to help you. :) If you start to feel overwhelmed, take time off and go back. :twocents:

xtxrn, ASN, RN · Jul 27, 2011

Here is a link that may be helpful :)

https://allnurses.com/psychiatric-nursing/borderline-personality-disorder-410694.html

When you get to your dream of working with psychiatric patients, you will have to separate yourself - and with a BPD diagnosis, it may be hard to hear how difficult BPD patients have been to work with for other nurses. My concern for you is genuine- you have a big battle ahead- but if you're able to work on your own stuff with a therapist while you're in school, and after you graduate to help you deal with the stigma BPD patients can have , I think you could be very helpful :)

I've worked with a lot of BPD patients- and they can disrupt an entire day with 5 minutes of drama. They don't mean to do it- but it's part of the abandonment stuff that is so deeply engrained in BPD. How you got BPD is NOT your fault...how you live with it IS your responsibility....and that will be hard while going to school. Not impossible. But a real challenge.

Being able to hear how other nurses feel about BPD may be really hard- but it's not about you personally....I wouldn't tell co-workers about your diagnosis, at least until you know them. If you're not acting on the BPD behaviors, they probably won't be able to tell- but if you are, they will pick up on it. It's hard to have others talk about a diagnosis you have, and not have a lot of feelings about it. ((( hugs)))

I've dealt with my own trauma issues, and decades ago, depression. It takes a lot of work. For the next couple of years, you will be drowning in nursing school work. Just know that if you have to go slower, even taking a semester off to get yourself out of the stress of nursing school, it's OK to do that :) The end result is the goal- not how fast you get there :)

And most important of all is making sure you are ok- you're the only one who can make that happen :) :yeah: :heartbeat

Kashia, ASN, LVN · Jul 28, 2011

I recently posted a question on here about nurses taking benzo's or narcotics while at work. Seems many do- more than I would have ever thought. Depression- I am sure there are nurses that are on antidepressants as well. After all- we are human.

So I think the important thing is to stay under doctors care, take prescribed meds only ( of course) and self monitor how you are feeling.

In nursing school esp at first you are closely monitored by instructors in clinical s.

Nursing is very stressing and school is like a boot camp. I wish you many blessings, and see no reason nor would I ever tell someone NOT to go for it!

As well, you may find you would rather go into another field more directly related to mental health- like Psych Technician ( they are licensed in my state, or even go for your Masters and become a therapist. You go girl!

PS/ I am one that would have been happier and better suited to mental health vs nursing because it is the people I care about not the science and the pushing meds and all the politics involved in nursing today. so best to you again!