Feedback appreciated!

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Hey Everyone! I am just looking for some feedback on my scholarship essay anything will be helpful!

The prompt: How will receiving this scholarship help you achieve your educational and career goals and give back to the college or community?

Getting To My Goals

Long shifts and never knowing exactly what to expect when arriving at work isn't appealing to everyone, but for as long as I can remember, I have aspired to be a nurse. I am currently in my second semester of nursing school at Wake Technical Community College. If selected to receive this scholarship I will be able to focus more of my attention on reaching my goal of becoming a nurse and giving back to the community through volunteering at medical clinics. As a nurse, we have the unique opportunity to help people of all ages, to be a support for families, to teach, and to be a voice for patients in their most vulnerable places in their lives.

There is no denying that the demands of nursing school result in little free time. When I embarked on the journey of nursing school, I was working about 30 hours a week as a night shift nursing assistant at an Alzheimer's facility to help pay for accumulated costs that go along with being a student. After two and a half years at the facility, I had to make one of the hardest decisions I've ever made; I had to step away from work in order to focus on my studies. Receiving this scholarship would help relieve some of the financial stress of paying for school, allow me to focus on excelling in my classes, and ultimately help me achieve my dream of becoming a nurse in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

As a nursing student, we are often asked if we know where we want to work. Unlike many others, I have always dreamed of being a nurse in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Becoming a NICU nurse will enable me to make a difference in the lives of not only infants but also their families. Being a nurse to me, means so much more than just getting patients better; it is about being strong for the patients when they feel like giving up, being compassionate and showing empathy in the hardest times, and being a rock for the families who feel like they are crumbling. This scholarship will allow me to care for, enhance the health of, and be the voice for the smallest and sickest patients that have not yet been able to develop a voice.

For a lot of people, taking their work home with them is not something they are interested in doing. My fiancé asked me one day why I didn't mind taking my work home with me; the answer was so simple. For me, the decision to become a nurse or even a nursing assistant wasn't just for a job; it is something that I am passionate about. The patients become friends, the residents become families, I celebrate their victories with them, and I grieve their losses. Becoming a nurse means so much more to me than just a paycheck, it will enable me to give back to the community through volunteering at free medical clinics as a nurse. I will be able to work with people of all ages, help them improve their health, give them the love and compassion that they need, and strengthen the community one patient at a time.

Receiving this scholarship will help me achieve my goals of completing nursing school, becoming a nurse in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and allow me to give back to the community through volunteering at free medical clinics. I will continue to work toward my goal of becoming a nurse and once achieved I will strive to be the best nurse that I can be in order to make a difference in the lives of the people who I come in contact with.