Unsure of where I belong...

[kRN0512]

Hello, everyone! I am a new member and first time poster and I am so glad to have discovered allnurses.com. What a great place!

I am a new grad (05/12) who is currently a couple of months into Orientation for the Emergency Dept. The ED at my hospital has a great orientation program for new grads and I have learned/done more than I ever dreamed I was capable of and the staff is extremely supportive and willing to help out. I have enjoyed the past couple of months, however, I have found myself wondering over the past couple of weeks if the ED is really the right place for me.

I am finding more and more that I enjoy being able to cultivate relationships with my patients and their families and watching them progress which is not very typical in the ED (Perhaps this is coming from my background in LTC). I have had a few patients that remained with us in the ED for extended periods of time (8 hours +) and I have found that these were the patients I enjoyed caring for the most and I find myself wanting "closure" with them and knowing what happened next and how they progressed through their stay. This realization has been very unsettling to me and I have tried to give it a few weeks to see if my feelings changed but they have not.

I am feeling so frustrated with myself at this point because I was SO sure that ED was what I wanted to do! I enjoy so many aspects of ED nursing but I can't deny the fact that there are some aspects I don't feel are right for me as well. I shared my concerns with my preceptor and nursing manager and they were both very understanding and helpful and I have a shadowing experience arranged up on the floor to get a better idea of "floor nursing" in general to try and determine if it would be something of interest to me.

I am excited for the shadowing experience but also feel like I have let not only myself down but also everyone who has had a hand in my time in the ED as well. I am so ashamed of myself!

Has anyone else had similar thoughts or experiences like this ? If so, how did you handle them? And for any nurses who work on the floors, what aspects of your career do you find challening and what aspects do you enjoy? Any advice or comments are welcome!

[geekynurseRN]

I say give it some more time. Maybe if you still feel the same after a year look into transferring to a different department. I think it is pretty common for us new grads to second guess ourselves and question everything.

[SarcasticLVN]

I would give it some time.. I vowed to never work ltc but it was my first job offer after graduating so I took it. Now I love it! I probably won't be doing it forever because I want to explore but you really need that experience for future jobs and what better than Ed? Just give it time :)