When Suicide Occurs on the Unit

{{{indigo}}}

Indigo girl, you have my heart. Suicide is never easy. In a very great way, it becomes a selfish act (despite the hopelessness) because everyone surrounding that person dies in a small or large way with him/her....forever changed. I have been thru 10 suicides in my professional life...some very nasty. Please read my bio, go half way down into it. I totally understand your pain. https://allnurses.com/forums/f282/thunderwolf-s-bio-262427.html

You have my great big hug, my friend.

Expect a state of fugue or numbness (alternating with high states of emotion...similar to what you are feeling now) among staff after such an event. It is a normal state when folks are in shock. Impacted staff will most likely not be as observant and/or on the ball...which places patients at risk. Staff that have not been a part of the incident need to be present on the unit and/or highly visible/accessible to help refocus staff at the task at hand. I would also recommend, if it hasn't been done yet or proposed, management providing a debriefing group for staff present/surrounding this event in order to process this appropriately. I would also recommend the facility EAP to be present and to provide additional follow up in the way of 1:1's if needed by impacted staff. As evidenced by your colleague, there is going to be fall out from this....more than she, I would imagine.

PTSD is a very real phenomenon among health care providers...often undiagnosed and left untreated...and we as providers often suffer in our silence. Depression is not uncommon afterward. It is time to take care of yourself, Indigo. Explaining your situation here today and how it has impacted you already was a good first step.

Another big hug...and a tissue for your tears.

Back in Feb. one of our residents asked for and took her sleeper, then took the plastic liner from her trash can, laid down and tied it around her neck. The CNA was traumatized.(as were the LPN and others). The DON was upset because she "had to drive in after she had taken her Ambien CR". The administrator was worried(understandably) what the state wouldl say or do. (Nothing-- we were not at fault) BUT when the ADON and Psych APN offered counselling, it didn't happen per corporate. It probably happens more in LTC then we think. Just covered up. ANYWAY my heart goes out to you and staff.

Thanks for all of the kind words. It was helpful to read

the previous links on suicide, and I am grateful for your

sharing of your story, Thunderwolf.

This still a new speciality area for me. I have been doing this for

less than 4 months at this very busy receiving facility.

I went to the debriefing they told me to go to. It was for me almost

as upsetting as witnessing the first hanging. I looked at that big conference

table with all the boxes of kleenex, saw that the debriefing was being

chaired by three male chaplains, and wished that I was anywhere

but there. It didn't help that I am uncomfortable around clergy though

it may have been helpful to staff that knew the chaplains personally.

I am not clear about what a debriefing is for as this is the first

time that I ever attended one. I guess, I thought a mental health

counselor would have chaired such a meeting.

An assistant nurse manager said to me after the meeting that

maybe I was having a delayed reaction as she said that I was

very cool that night after the event, but there was alot that had to be

done, and no time to react. Now, I ask myself why I am crying though

intellectually, I know why.

Delayed reactions or responses after the event are as well very common. This too happened to myself. The tough nurse in me dealt with the situation at hand (as I had done in many past events)...in all its gorey glory. Right now you will be feeling alot of things previously suppressed. This is normal, if not expected. Debriefing allows this to occur or starts the ball rolling for you in order to heal. Unfortunately, your debriefing was handled by clergy...not against them...but truly this is out of their league. Some how, management may think this sufficient in practice, but it can often fall way short for many people. Clergy are there for spiritual concerns for members of their faith...not issues that have psychiatric bearing. A psychologist or licensed mental health counselor should have chaired your debriefing. In that, I am truly sorry. Again, EAP counseling may be an option for you and/or for your colleagues...or contact a local mental health professional in your area. The thing about PTSD is to not put it off...it will bite you in the end if you do.

I am having a reaction to my reaction, and I am tired of me already!

Yes, it does looks like I'll have to seek some help with all of this.

Thanks for your insight.

*huge hugs*

My preceptor/mentor (nurse of 25 years) can recount decades ago incidents of patient suicides/deaths like they happened yesterday. He told me that he cried. He questioned his nursing career. He gave himself time to move past it.

:icon_hug: