We Are Twisted?

Published

As a retired RN, this joke really hit my funny bone. Wait a minute! It IS a joke, isn't it??

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!

You know you're a nurse if...

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light some night in a dark alley.

Your sense of humor gets more warped each year.

Almost everything can seem humorous...eventually.

You know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.

You wash your hands BEFORE you use the bathroom..

You check the caller ID on your day off to see if anyone from the hospital is trying to call and ask you to work.

Discussing bodily fluids over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you.

You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.

You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food even in the nicest restaurants.

You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if you say,"It's unusually quiet around here today"

You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say "I have no idea how that got stuck in there".

You notice that you are using more 4 letter words than you even knew before you started nursing.

Every time someone asks you for a pen you can find at least 4 of them on you .

You live by the motto "to be right is only half the battle, to convince the doctor is more difficult.."

You've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help.

Your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank.

You find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.

You avoid unhealthy looking shoppers in the mall for fear that they will drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.

You have seen more memberes than any prostitute.

If you are not a nurse and have been sent this by a friend who is, it's just to help you understand our mind set and questionable mental status/sanity. Most of the time we function in spite of this sick sense of humor, fairly normally and very responsibly.

Scary, huh??????

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Specializes in Emergency.

You made me laugh. I have done several of those things. My mother, my sister and two of my sisters-in-law are also nurses so we discuss all kinds of gross things all the time. Family get-togethers are always interesting.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

HAHA!

Add to that...

Someone "gives you the finger" and you whip out a lancet!

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They are hilarious, because they're TRUE :lol2:

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Those were so funny, thanks I laughed a lot.

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Specializes in med/surg, psych, public health.

"you've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help."

hmm, i'm gonna try that one! :lol2:

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Specializes in Med-Surg.
"you've told a confused patient that your name was that of your coworker and to holler if they need help."

hmm, i'm gonna try that one! :lol2:

it's fun. i've done it before. :lol2:

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

You have seen more memberes than any prostitute.

LOL!!!!!

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the theplugger, that was is hilarious.. I'm not a nurse yet, but I'm in the process. I'm a SPN (student practical nurse). I esp found the one about the "your finger has gone places you never thought possible." hilarious. thank you soo much.. you made me laugh... hope to hear more.. and it is scary... :chuckle:heartbeat

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

"You think that caffine should be available in IV form"

Caffine is available in IV form. I have given it although very infrequently, to pt with migraines.

I have also told a pt my name was that of a co worker. He couldn't remember my name anyway, but he did remember the nurse before me so I told him my name was hers.

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Specializes in Alzheimer's, Geriatrics, Chem. Dep..
Re: We Are Twisted?

Yes, we are.

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Specializes in Med-Surg/Peds/O.R./Legal/cardiology.

Mizfradd,

Hey, I've done that one!! (as well as most of the others). I used to answer the phone in the O.R. as one of the male nurses or male anesthetists. It was very interesting that most people never even caught it!! Shows you how much people really pay attention! Usually those people were around me at the time and after i hung up, we all laughed our butts off! (one of the few times in O.R.)

ebear

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