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Discussion

Time off for Funerals???

So I got an e-mail from a co-worker today asking me if I would be able to work for her so she can attend her in-laws funeral. I found the whole concept strange, as everywhere else I have ever worked if a relative (by blood or by marriage) died, you could either use FMLA or you were automatically granted 3 days off as some sort of "grieving days." Has anyone ever heard of staff having to find their own replacements in order to attend funerals???

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    My institution gave 3 days for parent or child; one for sibling or inlaw...

    If someone needed more time off we would generally grant it.

    And the policy stated we may ask for some sort of proof; usually reserved for those that had an excessive number of losses.

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    I worked at a place hat fired a nurse for taking too much time off (about 4 weeks) after her son died.

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    I worked at a place that fired a nurse for taking too much time off (about 4 weeks) after her son died.

    This makes me sick.

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    This is the type of thing that is usually spelled out in an institution policies. Each employee should have access to those policies so they can see the rules for themselves -- and plan accordingly.

    As for requiring documentation of a death before granting bereavement leave... I think that is perfectly reasonable. If no documentation is required, people will lie. (e.g. same grandmother dying 3 times.)

    We all need to be realistic in our expectations of our employers. It is perfectly reasonable for them to have some procedures in place to check the legitimacy of such requests for unscheduled time off -- and to set some limits on how much time can be taken, under what circumstances, etc. Yes, those policies should be reasonble and compassionate towards their employees -- but we employees must also have realistic expectations of our employers. They can't run the place effectively if employees can just take off any time they want for whatever reason they want with no advanced notice. We need to accept our employers' needs for an orderly system of handling such events -- and cooperate with a few standard required procedures and limitations.

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    I've worked quite a few places and each place has had the policy that you get 3 days off, with pay, after the death of a first degree relative (parent, spouse, child). Other than that you can take personal leave days or just plain days off if you have enough, with pay. Finally, you can take days off without pay if needed. It was suggested you try to find a replacement for the last two scenarios, but it wasn't required.

    While I've worked, my grandmother, two uncles, one aunt, my father, both my husband's parents, and my husband's brother died (over a span of many years). My son was hospitalized for several weeks and my mom worked toward death for a month, until she finally passed away. During my son's illness my other son's daughter was kidnapped. My employers helped me immensely, and I'm very grateful for all the caring they showed in all these situations of my soap-opera life.

    Some employers aren't out just for themselves...it saddens me that so many seem to be.

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